After going through two pregnancies and having two kids, I thought the days of “unwanted advice” were over. Guess I was wrong. The new issue that everyone and their brother think they can put their two cents in about? Preschool.
Hubby and I were not really “school” people. He actually hated it, and me, well, by the 4th year of college I was so ready to be done. No Masters degree here. I was done! In order to sit for the CPA exam I had to basically be in college for 5 years, and that didn't fly with me, so I crammed it all into 4 years because the thought of that 5th year made me want to shoot myself.
So the thought of my kids having to go through all that school too makes me kind of sad. It seems like such a long time to learn so much stuff that you forget by the time you’re 25 (or for me, after the test was done). I always did great in school – I was homeschooled until 7th grade (don’t get me started on that one…that’s a post for another day) and then in private school from 7th – 10th, and then we moved and I went to public school for my Junior and Senior years. My parents had a rule that I had to get all A’s and B’s in order to stay in school or else they would pull me out and homeschool me again. There was no way I was ever going to get below a “B,” let me tell you!
Anyway, so when I think about my daughter starting school, I have had my mind made up for a long time that I want to keep her out of school for as long as possible since she’ll be in it for so long. So that equals no preschool. I got lucky and have a very smart daughter. She was talking sentences at 18 months and never did the “baby-talk” thing – everything that came out of her mouth was clear and concise. So teaching her to count and now read has been fairly easy because of that. She is also a very social little girl…every night she plays with the little girls in our neighborhood and every couple weeks we try to have friends over that have kids as well. I’m not worried one little bit. My mother-in-law was an elementary school teacher and told us that she absolutely has no need to go.
Besides the fact that she goes to a sitter everyday with 4 other kids, and I would be paying for the sitter and for preschool…that doesn’t make much sense to me when she doesn’t need it.
But apparently I’m the only one that is not worried. Everyone seems to think that it is OK to harass hubby and me about why we aren’t sending her to preschool. I can’t believe that people have the nerve to try to make us change our mind about it. Isn’t there anything anymore that is just a family matter? The only time we'll change our mind is if our daughter comes up and asks us if she can go...then I will consider it - not because some stranger on the street told me I need to take her!
Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with preschool at all, and I know that for tons of families it’s the best thing in the world, so don’t think I’m slamming it or anything. I just hadn’t realized that it was climbing the ladder of “important parenting issues” and seems to be catching up with “breastfeeding or formula” and “working vs. staying at home.”
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13 comments:
Another one of the great debates...
Due to wanting to be a teacher, I have done many hours of classroom observations in kindergarten. I have seen kids who have been to preschool every day (like mine) along side those kids who learned from home, and they were all okay. The huge variance came with those kids who stayed at home, didn't attend preschool, and didn't get any attention/learning/whatever. Those are the kids that have a hard time in school.
I didn't go to preschool either, and I survived. (I also wasn't breastfeed, and I survived that as well :)). My parents read many books to me, as I am sure you do as well.
My kids go to preschool because that's the childcare choice we chose. I am happy they are in a learning enviroment every day, but I have no problem with those who nurture their kids at home. And it sounds like the sitter is nurturing your kids as well.
It's absolutely no one's business but yours and your husband's what choices you make for your children. As you put it, preschool isn't mandatory and there's plenty of time for school later.
Personally? Pre-school (in some cases..depends on the school) is a glorified daycare. My nephew is in daycare. He's 4 1/2. His daycare provider teaches the kids something each day. He's been tying his shoes since he was 3, counts to 100, has begun reading, he's learned how to interact with other children, etc.
I think children going to pre-school IS, as you said, a family decision. Just because Mrs. Soandso sends her kids and Mr. Whatshisname didn't doesn't mean the Soandso children will be brighter and become NASA scientists while the Whatshisname kids are working at the local burger joint.
As of now? Morgan won't be going to pre-school. That may change in a few years. It may not. Either way? It's our decision.
Good for you....
I don't really understand why this is an issue for anyone outside of your house. Personally I'm happy that our daycare basically is preschool after a certain age and they have a fully accredited kindergarden as well. I'm happy more because he'll be with the same kids and make good friends than because of the "school" aspect.
It's your own business and everyone else should stay out.
some unsolicited advice, if someone you dont know or dont care for asks, give him/her an inane answer, like we're still thinking about it, but thanks for caring. and walk away. easy as pie. if you like the person, say, i appreciate your concern, and we're doing x for now, because that's what works for us. smile. that's it. most will get the hint and shut up.
because after all, it really isnt their business, is it?
Pre-school is glorified babysitting and I have to agree with you. Children have to go to school for so long as it is, why add another year to it.
Your children are well balanced, social, and smart, hey that's all that counts to me.
IF and that's a huge IF the children didn't have friends, just stayed by themselves all day at a sitters, them mmm maybe, but that's a preference not a mandatory thing.
All through your children's life you are going to find there is always someone to critize and someone waiting to give you that "unwanted advice" so gear up, find a good answer to give every time and continue to be the great mom that you are!!!
Ultimately, like everything else with parenting, you have to do what is best for your family. No one can make that decision (or has the right to persuade you otherwise) but you and your husband.
The most important thing is that she is getting good care and that you are nurturing her in a way in which she will be prepared when she goes to kindergarten. If she's reading already, she's more than prepared, she's definitely ready.
Just sit back and tell those who can't mind their own business that you have everything under control! :)
I agree with Sherry. Preschool isn't designed to really teach much of anything except social skills and other things kids that go to daycare already learn (at least here in Georgia it's like that). All of the parents that I know here complain about preschool b/c it's state funded and not really very good. It's also free...so that's why a lot of people think it's wonderful.
Personally, I agree with you~
Only 1 of my sons went to PK, With my middle one I had to put him in PK at the age of 3 because he wasn't talking- (It killed me to have him there all day, knowing he couldn't speak)But in his case it worked out really well for him..
Now with my little man -I am on the fence about sending him, He is home with me right now,He will be 4 soon..He is very smart & we work on a lot of educational things @ home & he learns fast. So for selfish reasons I have wanted to keep him home because he is my last baby & I really want to treasure every moment we have together..
In the end, I just think people should do what is best for them & their child & shouldn't judge anyone because they aren't doing what their decision is..
Do what you want~Your a great mom, don't ever doubt that!
I feel the same as you. I see no real need for pre-school (sounds too much like pms).
The thing at my house? Ebaby demanded to go to preschool. She told us she was missing out on all the learning. We sent her 2 days a week for 2 1/2 hours. She loved it and was upset there is no school in the summer.
I wonder how long she will love school?
I agree with you it is noones business but your family it is your decision noone elses!! Although I'm all for preschool I also believe it benefits kids that don't have any exposure to other children. I say your daughter is perfectly fine and will be AOK without it...
I sent my 3 older kids to preschool but did not see any gain. I am not sending my 3 year old and I know exactly what you mean about people not being able to help telling you their opinions. Some people make skipping preschool seem the same as child abuse.
I am catching up on your blog...I read all the entries I missed, but don't have time to comment on them. This one I HAD to comment on because I know exactly what you are going through with this!
Happy birthday! I know that doesn't apply to this post, but I hope your day was as amazing as it sounded when I read about it!
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