Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Love/Hate Relationship

Last night went from a great night to a very frustrating night. I picked the kids up from the sitter's and the trip home is always a lot of work. Why? Because my son screams the whole way home. Let me start off by saying that he's VERY attached to me. If he hears my voice or sees me, he instantly crawls over to me and puts his arms in the air and whines to be picked up. So since I haven't seen him all day, he gets very angry at me for saying hello and then putting him in the car seat where he can't see me until we get home. I'm hoping that this problem will go away when we get to turn his car seat around in a couple of weeks. Anyway, my daughter and I are trying like crazy the whole way home to sing and make him laugh so that he's not screaming...and I don't mean crying, I mean screaming, at the top of his lungs! In between the singing and laughing, my daughter informs me that she is getting too big for her car seat. I laugh and say "no you're not!", and she says, in such a grown up way, "mommmm, I'm 3 years-old, and 3 is big!" I just burst out laughing....she is such a cutie!!!

So we get home and my son has actually fallen asleep, so I take the carrier inside and then my daughter and I go play outside. The nice thing about our family is that we aren't on any type of schedule or anything. If we get home and we're hungry, we make dinner and eat. But if my daughter just wants to play, we go play and then come in for dinner later. I think it has made our lives a lot less stressful than they could otherwise be since we can be so laid back about things. Our lives are pretty much completely driven by our kids....if they are hungry, we eat; if they are tired, they go to bed; etc.

So we were out swinging, having a lot of fun, talking to neighbors, and my son wakes up, so I go and get him, and then we go over to the neighbor's house, I give my son a snack, everything's great. Then I decide that we should go in and eat dinner. Unfortunately, my husband is doing yard work, so he watches our daughter, and I have to take our son with me inside to start fixing dinner. I put him in the highchair and the night falls apart. He can't stand the fact that I have to walk away from him 2 feet to make dinner. He screams the entire time I am making dinner, and he takes one bite of everything that I give him and then throws it on the floor. Luckily, we make it through dinner, and then it's off to baths and then out for a walk (great way to wind the kids down and get my exercise!).

This is why I have a love/hate relationship with my kids....I love them more than anything in the world and I love being a mom. But I hate the person that I turn into when I'm frustrated or frazzled. I raise my voice more and I get very short with the kids and my husband. I've been working really hard at not taking my frustrations out on my kids (even if they are the ones that caused them!)

Other than that not much else happened last night. But I did oversleep this morning, which hasn't happened to me in years! I woke up all of a sudden and looked at the clock and it said 7:25, and I have to be at work by 8:00 with a 1/2 hour commute! Luckily I was able to get ready in that 1/2 hour and I didn't even pull my hair up! All I had to do was call in and tell my boss I was running late. I love my job so's never brought up, just a courtesy call, but no one ever asks for any more details. Love it!

Tuesday, May 30, 2006


OK, I’ve tried to start this blog a couple of different times, but nothing has really felt “right”. But as I was sitting at work earlier, I thought of the angle that I need to come at this with, and so here goes!

Introduction: I am in my mid-twenties with a wonderful husband and two wonderful kids. I currently live in the Midwest, but growing up I lived a couple of different places, so it’s really hard to answer when people ask me where I’m from. I am a working mom….I had always planned on staying home, but I love my job and working so much that I’m lucky enough to have my cake and eat it too because I know that my kids are being cared for by a family that truly cares about them (my sitter calls constantly when I keep the kids home because they’re sick to see how they’re doing). My husband is about 4 months older than me, and my daughter is 3 and my son is just about 1. We really are a happy family….we are very blessed!

My goal in life is to be happy, and to bring happiness to everyone around me, especially my family. This is why I strive to be the “cool” mom and “perfect” wife. These terms are in quotes because I don’t mean them in the way that most people use the words. I want to be a mom that my kids aren’t embarrassed to have around (and before all of you out there with teenagers laugh and say “just wait”, I know it can be done…how? Because I had quite a few friends growing up that really didn’t mind being around their parents or having their friends around their parents. And we liked to hang around them!). I will not exchange discipline for coolness, but I will definitely work hard to find the right balance between raising a responsible child and being liked by my children. My husband and I have always said that we will never say to our children “just because I said so” and we have been very successful at it (and before you say “but you’re children are still so young, wait until I tell you more about my very verbal 3 year-old). We know that a lot of times a parent will say “No, because I said so” because they are too lazy to perform what the child requests (i.e. getting another drink, or a snack or a toy), or because the parent really doesn’t have a good reason for saying “no”. The point of this little tangent is that by explaining to the child why you are saying “no” you are giving that child valuable moral and life lessons. But alas I have gone on a tangent….where was I?

OK, back to being “cool”…my husband and I LOVE kids. We always have, and that’s why we will have at least 4 children. We were known for taking care of our friends’ kids before we had kids….we loved it! And I really think that shines through in our ability to raise our children. We have been complimented so many times on how well our children behave, and how enjoyable our children are to be around. We are never hesitant to take our children anywhere….any restaurant, meeting, get-together, you name it, our children will be there very well behaved and entertaining everyone!

As for being the “perfect” wife….I want to ALWAYS be someone that my husband is proud to be with. Now I know my husband will love me no matter what….I could not shower for a week straight and he would never make a comment to me (he might sleep in another bed though :)). Seriously, he’s the best husband in the world, and I know that I’m very lucky to have him by my side, and I know that there are lots of women who meet him every day that wish he wasn’t so happily married. This is why I do everything I can to be the “perfect” wife (and I know he’s doing the same for me).

OK, that’s it for my introduction. I’m sure that everyone will learn much more about me as I update this. I just hope to share things that work and things that don’t work for me when it comes to being a woman, a wife and a mom.