It’s funny to watch who my daughter picks to play with. It might be the girl with the prettiest dress on, or it might be the girl with the cool hair, or it might be the girl that has the neat toy. But what I’ve learned is that basically it varies from minute to minute. As we were teaching Sunday school yesterday, I watched her as she played and jumped from friend to friend (there were about 7 girls in the class). But as I watched closer I began to see the part of socialization that is sad, hurtful, and mean: rejection.

There are a couple of little girls in the class that I have always wanted my daughter to be close to. Looking back I’m not sure why…I think it’s because they always seemed like such sweet girls and they always wanted to be around me and sit in my lap and hold my hand. I knew their parents (OK, actually I know pretty much all of the kids’ parents) but it seemed to make since for them to be friends. However, my thoughts have since changed.

My daughter was running around, having a good time and she actually had two little girls following her and doing whatever she did. When I took them to the bathroom, there were two girls holding hands, and then my daughter was holding hands with two other little girls that had been following her around. My daughter reached out to hold the other girls hand to make it 5 total girls, but the girl pulled her hand away and said “noooo.” OK, let me just tell you how much the childish and protective mom in me wanted to tell that little girl to be nice to my daughter and hold her hand. But I didn’t and it didn’t seem to phase my daughter at all. Then we were back in the classroom and the kids had to sit at the tables for their snack. My daughter wanted to sit next to that little girl that didn’t want to hold her hand, so she was moving her chair, and the other little girl said “nooo” again and moved her chair away from her. My daughter complained to me, and this time I had to say something….in front of everyone I just said “why would you want to sit by someone or be friends with someone who is mean to you?” My daughter looked at me and took in what I said, and put her chair by the other little girls that wanted to sit by her.

Obviously I know this is only going to get much, much worse. And I know my daughter will get through all the years of middle school and high school and the popularity issues, but I also know it will be a tough battle for her. I just pray that I can teach her that there are always friends around, and sometimes the best friends are not the ones we initially want as our friends.