Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Thank-you cards – I believe they are now a lost art. Growing up my mom made us write thank-you cards for all of the birthday presents we got. We had to thank the person for coming to our party (if they did) and then thank them for the gift and tell them why we liked it (i.e. I used the gift card you gave me to buy new school clothes, etc.). I have followed in her footsteps…every party my kids have I send out thank-yous to everyone that comes and gives a present. Apparently, I’m the only one.

My mom would always make comments about people not sending thank-yous…”I can’t believe I never got a thank-you from so-and-so. I never understood her obsession, and honestly, most of the time, I never pay attention as to whether someone sends me a thank-you or not. I was always really bad about sending mine out, but they did eventually get sent out. I think my wedding ones went out about 4 or 5 months after the wedding, and some of my baby ones were really late. The only time I get annoyed that I don’t get anything from someone is when I’ve shipped something, or ordered something online for someone, because I never know if it go there or not…so I’m not afraid to ask someone if they got it. I think they feel kind o embarrassed, like maybe they should have said something, but that’s not my goal…I just want to make sure the thing I paid for actually arrived!

I have really realized that no one seems to send them anymore, and I’m wondering if our kids will grow up less grateful because of it. I know when I was little I had to thank the person each time I opened a gift and then as they were leaving. But I honestly don’t think that if I didn’t have to write those thank-yous I would have truly learned what it meant to show thanks. Obviously me writing my kids’ thank-yous isn’t teaching them anything, but I decided that next year when my daughter is 5 she’ll start writing her own (with some help of course).

I’m probably old fashioned about this, but I can’t help it. Some, unfortunately, stick out to me…we went to a party for a little girl a while ago and bought her a really nice little gift and never heard anything from her. Now I don’t think any worse of them or anything like that, but, well, it’s hard to describe…it just would have been nice to even get a little something from them thanking us.

What do you think? Does your family write thank-yous? Or has this day and age moved past them?

12 comments:

Amy W said...

We absolutely write thank you cards. FOR EVERYTHING.

It's funny because I think we have created a monster though as Ashley now wants to write cards for her friends all the time.

Oh, and I gave you an award....

Anonymous said...

I wrote thank you notes growing up. Still do. I always have a ton of them in the desk "just in case". A friend actually told me to stop sending him thank you cards after he gives Morgan a gift as we "already thanked him".

I had 64 thank you notes to do after my baby shower. I was so worried people would think I was ungrateful that I had them all in the mail four days later :)

Jill said...

Thank you notes should be sent as much as possible! I still need to con my husband into finishing the last 2 for his college graduation (he's 27, he was in the military before) and basically, I get the address and address the envelope, put our address on it and stamp it, and put the card out. If he doesnt do it, I remind him until he does. We moved twice last month so I think we can be forgiven at not getting them out, but we need to do it soon! I did all the thank you notes that went out, there were a few that I told my hubby to do and he refused, but they were to his family, so i guess if they think we're rude, if they ever say anything about it, well, then I can tell them I thought he did them! i think it's great to get kids to do that, it's great practice for jrhigh hs and college graduation presents, wedding and baby presents, etc. also will help you figure out how to fill up space when writing your thank you notes for job interviews and persons who provide a reference for you. Yes, I guess I am obsessive. I came to you from "A Family Story" please feel free to check me out at http://lil-mousehouse.blogspot.com/

Jill said...

I always wrote thank yous when I was little. My husband has kids from his first marraige and it's like pulling teeth to get them to write a thank you. I have to pick my battles and have given up on this. I thank my family for things they give his kids and let him deal in his own way with his family. He was never a thank-you writer growing up. For years and years I sent Christmas and birthday gifts to my nieces and nephew and never got an acknowledgement that they even arrived so I just quit and never sent anything again. My son will learn to write thank yous. There is a very big sense of entitlement these days with kids and I think parents are to blame in a lot of ways.

Rachel (Crazy-Is) said...

I guess I am in the minority here because we don't send them. Sad I suppose. I did send them after I got married and after baby showers, but other than that, I don't.

I think I should start.

Jennifer (Jen on the Edge) said...

We absolutely do thank you notes in our household. Not doing so is not an option.

When the girls were little, I wrote the note for them. As soon as they could write their own names, I wrote the note and they signed it. Each year after that, they did more and more on their own. Now, my 8 year old even addresses her own notes.

To help the process, I make a point of keeping different kinds of fun stationery on hand, as well as colorful pens and pencils.

When we get thank you notes from other people, I share them with my girls so that they can understand what it's like to receive one and how nice it is to hear that someone else is grateful for their gift.

Julie said...

I'm a big stickler for thank you notes too. Before Abby could write she would draw pictures and we'd mail those as thank yous.

While we're at it, what happened to people RSVPing for things as well? That seems to be a lost art as well!

Unknown said...

Thanks for posting on my new blog (you found me through "A Family Story") Glad you weren't disappointed when you visited :)

About the thank you cards, I think they are underused and under-appreciated. Throughout my childhood, I was very seldomly urged to write thank you cards. I had enough sense to write them for my wedding and baby showers, but otherwise, I honestly forget. It just doesn't occur to me, unless somebody mentions it. But now that I have a child, I have become more aware of how important it can be...he will become aware too, when he is old enough! (until then, I will be sending them out)

Liza on Maui said...

Interestingly, I blogged about the same topic right after my birthday:
http://lizas-eyeview.blogspot.com/2007/06/thank-you-note.html

alissa said...

So happy you wrote this post. Just yesterday I mailed out all my thank you notes to those who attended my son's first bday party. And I, too, notice - and JUDGE - people that don't send them. In fact, out of my circle of friends, just myself and one other send thank you notes for our kids' bday presents. Personally, I just think it's a nice thing to do. But no. I wasn't raised to do it. Actually, didn't start until after I got married. And now, now it's an obsession.

But what really irks me, other than the no thank-you note, is the email thank you note. Lame.

Radioactive Tori said...

We always write thank you notes for everything. As soon as each of my kids could even draw at all, I had them draw a picture as we talked about who gave them what. I wrote the thank you note on the paper as they told me what to write on their picture. I don't mind not getting thank you notes, I never seem to notice, but when I do get one, it sure feels good.

3XMom said...

A few weeks ago, though our neighborhood listserve, we invited over the other families (none of which we knew) with kids going into kindergarten this fall with my dd. About 5 families came. We provide steak, corn, salad, drinks, chicken nuggets, and blueberry pie. We also had games and activities for the kids. Everyone seemed to have a great time. I did not get one single email response after the party. Nothing, nada. Even if they didn't like us, I can't believe there wasn't even an email!