Wednesday, February 07, 2007

A New Guilt

I have a new guilt. Spending time with my friends. I feel guilty because I only get to see my kids in the evening as it is, so why on earth would I take one of those evenings and spend it with friends of mine as opposed to my kids?

This debate goes on in my head a lot. The first response to it is “of course you need a break…you work hard all week and everyone deserves to have friends”. But then I counter back and say “your friends aren’t looking to you to learn how to do things; your friends don’t need you to tuck them in at night; your friends don’t cry for you when they’re scared.” So what am I to do? I don’t spend a lot of time with my friends as it is…a couple of nights a month and maybe a couple of hours on a weekend. The truth is I have lost touch with a lot of my friends that don’t have kids because they don’t understand that my time is limited now…these little things that I’m raising are so important to me that I hate to miss out on any time with them. BUT…I do still need some girl time…with adults.

I’m going to dinner with some friends tonight. I’m feeling very guilty. Last night with the horrible snow we got we didn’t get home until 7:00, so by the time we ate dinner there was hardly any time left for playing. Am I being selfish? I hope not because I really want to go and hang out with them and have a nice dinner without having to worry about feeding everyone else before I get my food.

The logical part of me knows that my kids will be fine…spending time away from them will not kill them…and hubby is with them, so it’s not like they’re spending more time at the sitter’s or anything…right?

What about you other moms? Do you ever feel guilty for doing things for yourself instead of your kids?


Kellie said...

First....STOP feeling so guilty. You're right on so many things. You work hard during the work (both at work and at the 2nd full time job..ya know...that Mommy thing??)..NOTHING wrong with taking an evening to be with your friends. NEED that time. Time that you're not working for your boss or the little bosses :) It helps make you a better Mom. I WISH I had friends here to be able to do things with now and then.

The few times I have done something for myself, yes I have felt guilty. But, it fades when I realize I'm having fun and relaxing.

GO!! Have fun!! Don't feel guilty about it. Unless, of course, you start doing it as frequently as Britney Spears :)

Happy Working Mom said...

Don't worry, if I decide to go clubbing as much as Brittany, I'll just take my babies with me...on my the car...while I'm driving...with no carseat or seatbelt :)

Kelly M said...

I completely agree with Kellie on this one! There is absolutely NO reason you should feel guilty. Your kids are in good hands. Like Kellie says, You need your time just like your kids need their time. It will definitely make you a better mom! This means the time you spend with them will be that much more special and you won't get as frustrated when they are having a bad day....


Danielle Meehan said...

I totally understand the guilt. We stop one place on the way home and all the sudden it seems like I'm throwing food at Jeffrey and putting him to bed. need to have some non mommy time that isn't work. Some time to brag to your friends about the kids and give you a chance to appreciate how cool they are.

Julie said...

ALL.THE.TIME but I still go out anyhow. Moms need to get out now and then. : )