Thursday, October 18, 2007

It started OK, and then it just went downhill.....

First of all, thanks for all of the support regarding the anonymous comments. I know who is posting some of them, which I think is what bothers me the most. But I don’t want to lose good comments, so as Daddy Dan pointed out, I will leave the anonymous comments available and just immediately delete ones I don’t think are appropriate. It will take more time on my part, but I do value the “real” comments that people leave.

So anyway, last night we had our first permanent sitter interview. I was so pumped about this lady…she’s a Christian, and all of her references had nothing but great things to say about her! After talking to her on the phone for 45 minutes, I seriously thought that we would sign her up right then and there.

We pull up to her house and it’s all decorated for Halloween. Very cute and the kids really got a kick out of it (spider webs in the bushes, ghosts hanging from the trees, etc.). We go in and she shows us where the kids play. It’s pretty much the kitchen, eating area, and family room. She says she puts a gate up that blocks them from the other part of the house and she doesn’t let them go down in the basement because she is paranoid about the stairs (she thinks one of the kids will fall down them). I was a little hesitant because it seemed like such a small area for them to be confined to all day.

So then we went in to the family room and just started talking to her…man she was a talker! And things were going OK…her husband came in and hung out and was a nice guy and her two youngest kids (8 and 6) played with my kids the whole time. She also has two teenagers. We talked about how we like to bring the kids in asleep and let them keep sleeping (the number one reason we don’t want them in daycare – I keep them up so late). She informed us that her kids are so loud in the morning that she’s sure there’s no way the kids would stay sleeping. She also told me that her kids are so rough that they’re not getting any new furniture until they’re gone because they’re “kids.” I’m not a big fan of this theory – kids are the way you let them be (for the most part) and if you teach them to respect the furniture and treat it well, they will (at least at those ages they should!).

But we were getting past all of this stuff, I mean her references had nothing bad to say about her! So then we ask her if she would be willing to have a background check. She said yes, but she told us that we would find something. And this is where the story gets shady…her son failed 10th grade (not liking this so far) and according to her, he and they did not know he failed until he went to get his student ID card. I guess when they got home he went crazy and started yelling. A neighbor supposedly called the cops on a domestic dispute and the cops came. She claims that they told her if the cops are called on anything domestic, they have to take somebody in (hubby will check out this story on his next visit with the police department), so she wanted it to be her rather than her son. So on her record she has a domestic misdemeanor of some sort. It just seemed so far-fetched!

But the clincher was when my daughter came into the room crying! The lady asked her what was wrong, and she said the one boy called her “the D word” (which in our house is “dumb”). The lady didn’t seem too upset, went and got her son and brought him in the room (mind you, he’s 8) and said exactly “he’s sorry.” That’s right, the little boy didn’t even have to do the actual apologizing, she did it for him!

So we left, and I’m so disappointed. I’m so worried about this…I just want to find someone good!

15 comments:

Amy W said...

Okay, I totally missed the whole anonymous comment thing....what happened?

That sucks about the sitter, and yes, that story sounds sketchy...

Kellie said...

I missed the whole anonymous thing, too!

Sucks about the sitter. Sounds a little out there. Have the hubby's friends at the cop shop check it out.

Someone's out there that's perfect for your family...I know it :)

Julie said...

Again, I missed the anon thing too. Can't you make comments moderator approved? So they get emailed to you first before being posted?

You'll find the right sitter - it sounds like this one isn't it.

radioactive girl said...

This does not sound like the right sitter fo you! Yikes!

AGAIN I say I wish I lived near you! One of the problems I had with the kids I used to watch was that when they came in the morning, they came very early and were very loud and woke up MY kids. I didn't ever say anything about it, because you can't make a baby and a 2 year old be more quiet, but it sounds like the way you do it would have worked out perfectly for me.

I'm sorry for whatever happened with the anonymous stuff that I missed. Don't let it get you down...whatever they said couldn't have been anything they really meant or they would have left their name too. I always feel like it is someone who has to much time on their hands and a mean sprit who is just trying to instigate something that is unnecessary.

Shari said...

That doesn't sound cool. Trust your gut for sure on this one. A good babysitter is so hard to find.

Dani said...

Damn! That's my first impression of the sitter situation. My next is the adage that good things come with time. Try not to settle and I'm sure you'll find the perfect person.

The domestic misdemeanor thing sounds really far fetched. I mean unless you are charged with something I don't see how you can have it on your record. Also if her son was so crazy and loud that the neighbors called the cops? Probably not the ideal place for your children.

The not getting new furniture thing? I have been having this argument with one of my co-workers. My mother taught me to respect HER property and I intend to do the same with my son. Of course we realize there will be spills and accidents but there is no reason to expect kids to destroy your things. That argument just gets my blood boiling!

Lastly, (sorry I'm droning on so much) don't let the anon comments get you down. I just delete any that I personally find inappropriate. I figure that if you can't bother to leave your name then (in most cases) I can't bother with your advice.
Good Luck!!

Sherry said...

Aw so sorry the sitter didn't work out, but hang in you will find the perfect one, I just know it.
I wouldn't leave the kids there after her comment about the arrest, her son no having to apologize and geeze she can't control her own kids if they ruin furniture. Your two are just too good for that place.
Here's hoping today will be a better day and you will find the "perfect" sitter!!!

Edie C said...

hmmm... I think I'd go with my gut on this one too. First of all, she doesn't teach her children to respect furniture, much less each other. :( That's a pretty bad sign. Then, with that far-fetched misdemeanor story... I just don't think so.

Keep looking. You will find someone that you love soon.

Jennifer (Jen on the Edge) said...

I agree with everyone else. There's something shady going on with that situation. I say keep searching and don't settle.

Rebecca said...

Trust your instincts - no one volunteers to go to jail for someone else, and I'd assume the police don't let you make substitutions to help out your child. Very sketchy!

Daddy Dan said...

I'd stay away too. You'll probably never be able to find out exactly what happened with that domestic disturbance. The lady might have some anger-management issue that she's hiding.

Thanks for the link!

Michele_3 said...

So I'm totally out of the loop with the anon thing-What happen & I hope it got resolved for your sake!

Also hope you find a new sitter soon- My gosh I can't believe your even having to deal with all of this! Definitely don't leave them with this new lady-It sounds very shady! Always trust your instincts!
HUGS to ya LADY!!

Christy said...

Don't worry you will find the right sitter, and that would not be this one! Have patience and faith, it will work out in it's own time...which unfortunately always isn't our time :)

s said...

go with your gut instict, I was always a working mom, my oldest daughter has great mom instincts too she just lets her hubby or others talk her out of what her gut is telling her. Keep looking and listen to your instincts the right person will come along. I was very lucky when my kids were little with their babysitter, it took some looking though and you can bet I checked EVERY reference. That is one thing I don't miss now that the kids are teens and grown is the worry about the sitter.

Rachel said...

Definitely think about this one. It is true, though, that alot of police department follow the policy of taking someone to jail whenever a domestic disturbance call is answered. But the fact that her son flipped out enough that the neighbor called the police? Kinda scary.