I read an article last night while I was sitting outside watching my daughter ride her Barbie jeep. It talked about how moms need to slow down and stop thinking that we have to be superwoman. I can completely relate to the lady in this article, especially lately. I constantly feel like I’m going non-stop trying to get everything done, and I don’t see an end in sight. Why do I do this?
I realized I have one main person in my life that has influenced me…and not necessarily for the better. Our neighbor and good friend is always “on the go.” She never stops. Ever. Even when her kids were little, she was always doing something around the house. Her house is always spotless (and yes, she works about 10 hours per day outside the home). They moved into their new house and immediately she got it decorated…it really does look nice. She makes comments to me that really sting, and I know she’s not saying them to be mean, she would never do that, but still, they get to me. I was showing her the house a couple of months ago and she asked me if I had new bedding; I told her I didn’t, and she said “oh, I guess I’ve never seen your bed made before.” Ouch.
Lately, I have found myself going 100 miles per minute to make sure our house is always clean and neat. I didn’t used to be this way. I’m always worried she or her husband will stop by the house when it’s a mess and make their usual comments. Now before you start asking why I’m friends with people like this, again, they have no idea what they’re doing, I’m sure of it. That’s just how they live…very neat and clean, and they think that everybody should live this way. And I’m not afraid to stand up to them…I’ve often told the guy that I’d rather play with my kids than clean the whole house all the time. But still, there’s a bad connection between what my head knows to be true and the actions of my body. Even though I know I should stop working so hard getting dishes done or picking up toys, my body ignores this and keeps on working.
I know that if this person were not around all the time I would not be like this…I would not have the constant pressure to make sure our walls are painted and our pictures are hung up and we have furniture in every room. I just need to work super hard to ignore the pressure and enjoy myself the way I am, and the way my kids want me to be.
So what about you? Do you have an outside influence that makes you act differently from how you truly want to act? Is there someone that always makes you feel like you need to be superwoman to be a good mom?
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8 comments:
As always, a great thought inducing post!!
My boyfriend's step-mom is the person I pick. She's never worked outside of home and her house is ALWAYS in perfect condition. She's extremely crafty; always whipping up dinners that I'd never be able to make in the blink of an eye. She doesn't intentionally make me feel this way, but...when she's here, I can see her looking at all the toys in the family room or the empty glass on the coffee table or the two magazines on the kitchen counter. My house is far from messy...but, sometimes, things don't get picked up immediately.
Oooh, that's a good one! I'm sure there are a lot of mother-in-laws (or mothers of significant others) that put a lot of pressure on women! Thankfully for me, my mother-in -law (I think) actually really respects me...working outside the home, having a great family, etc. Stuff that her other children have not quite yet accomplished.
Great post as always!!
I use to be bothered by this pressure(especially from my MIL)
But having 3 boys & dealing with all the challenges that go with it-I just stopped worrying so much about it..Life is really to short to focus on these unimportant things..
My oldest (10yrs.) once told me he wanted me to spend more time with him & to stop always cleaning up & it hit me like a ton of bricks! OUCH!
So now I do a lot more quality time with them & if the dishes have to wait - It really isn't going to kill anybody.. I don't want my kids to look back on their childhood & remember their mom always cleaning, I want them to remember the good & precious times together..
Most of my neighbors are SAHM's and have BEAUTIFUL houses that are picked up and clean and amazingly decorated, making mine feel extremely lacking.
But then I think that my house looks "lived in" and I am happy with that. :).
Um yeah, my entire neighborhood! Seriously, there is so much competition in our neighborhood it's ridiculous. I used to buy into it all and now I saw forget it. Ever since we moved into our house a year+ ago I've felt like we were under the microscope for everything we did. It used to bother me, now I could careless. We'd go to a party and everyone was talking about what they were doing to their house and when. It actually got really boring. I've got other things to spend my time thinking about!
I guess I'm in the minority. I don't really give a rat's butt what people say about my house. We live here! We work!
But...when people talk about the things they do with the kids, the places they go with the kids, how smart their kids are, etc etc- then I start to feel like I have to be super mom.
I think my influence is myself. I get really overwhelmed when my house is messy and there is laundry piled up and dishes to do. I have a bit of an anxiety problem and I think that is why I can't deal with it.
Well finally got on here, after a few days of trying!!!
Outside influences huh? Well I don't think I have had any. I have never tried to "keep up with the Jones" and have always done my own thing.
I guess when I have company coming I tend to totaly deep clean and try to have this place shiny, spotless and free of animal fur!!
I do clean this place but the deep deep cleaning is for company, so the "think" I am like that all the time, so shhhhhhhh don't tell them any different.
Your children are most important. I am so sure your house is a "home" and to me I would rather be comfy among a not so spotless house, than sitting in a stuffy spotless house, afraid to breath!!!
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