I had to have a talk with the sitter this morning, and I’m pretty sure it went horribly. Our daughter has not been taking naps, and she needs naps. So I asked her why she didn’t take one, and she told me that one of the other girls was being loud. Now she always takes a nap at our house…she walks right up to her room and lays down and goes to sleep, so I’m thinking that the putting the girls on the couch and putting a movie on is not quite working.
My daughter has also been coming home a lot saying that she was in time-out…3 times yesterday. She told me that one of the other girls hit her, and she did nothing wrong but got put in time-out anyway. Now most of you out there are probably thinking “what’s the big deal?” Well, I’ll tell you…first, if this only happened once in a while, I wouldn’t think anything of it. But like I said, it’s been happening a lot. Second, my mom never defended us…if she heard something bad about us she automatically punished us and took the side of the complainer. I have vowed ever since I was little that I would always be my children’s advocate…I would defend them until I had concrete proof that my child did something wrong. My sitter apparently does not agree with this philosophy because she just kept looking at me with this look of “I can’t believe you’re telling me not to punish your daughter.” And that’s exactly what I said. I asked her what the problem was and she told me that my daughter provokes the other little girl, and so she retaliates by hitting my daughter. So I asked my sitter what my daughter had done this time to provoke the girl to hit her and she told me that she didn’t know because she didn’t see it. She told me that she put them both in time-out because they were fighting. I told her that if she didn’t see my daughter do anything wrong, I don’t want her punished. Period. If that means she needs to make the girls play in the same room as her, then so be it. She didn’t like that.
I just kept saying that my daughter is so good at home (hello, I brag about her all the time!) that I can’t believe she turns into this monster at the sitter’s house. The worst part about the whole thing is that my daughter used to be her girl. She would always talk about how great she was, and how cute she was, etc. Now I just hear about how good the other kids are and how great my son is, and all the bad things my daughter does. Something isn’t adding up. I’m starting to think that maybe my sitter is a “baby” person, and isn’t quite sure what to do with them when they’re older.
I don’t know…but I do know that she wasn’t happy when I left, and I hate that feeling of knowing that she’s upset and watching my kids. But I had to tell her…I had to be honest and defend my kids…right?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
7 comments:
Tough situation. Yes, I'd defend my kid(s), too. IF IF IF your daughter IS being the instigator, then she should be sat in time out. PLEASE don't get mad at me for saying that??!! But, given you can't prove what your daughter is or is not doing...I'd be wondering, too.
I know this makes no sense...sorry. Defend your daughter until you know otherwise :)
If something is bothering you about your kids, of course you should speak up. Unfortunately, kids that age often can't tell you exactly what is happening and sometimes the caregivers just have to go with their instinct. But, not matter the situation, you always have the right to tell her if something she is doing is bothering you.
I agree,Very tough situation for you to be in-I would definitely just talk to your daughter and ask her if she has ever hit the other little girl ever- If she has-then explain it to her some about how hitting isn't respectful of others & so on..Tell her if she does do this again, she may be put it time-out for her actions.
But if she doesn't do this- & tells you this as well- Then there is no need for her to sit in time-out for something she did not do..
Anyway- good luck to you
on this one!
Please forgive me if I seem out of line, but perhaps it is time to consider looking for another sitter.
I do wish you all the best.
OMG yes! I'm totally with you on this one. There is nothing wrong with asking why your sitter is doing something the way she is..especially if it directly impacts your kids. And you know what..if your sitter TRULY believed your daughter did something and she had a right to put her in time out..she wouldn't be upset. Baby person or not..this is her job and if she doesn't like the older kids..than maybe she should think of a career change.
I have to go with Alpha Dude on this one- better start looking for a new sitter. I know this situation (my sitter is my sister-in-law and she doesn't listen to half of what I say).
It wouldn't suprise me if she no longer wants to sit for you some time down the road, especially if she doesn't know what to do with older kids. I would want to know what she was doing that she didn't know if your child really instigated or not- where was she?
Are the kids busy so they don't have time to act out or are they left to their own devices?
Just saying you might want to have another option in your back pocket, just in case.
As to defending your kids- ABSOLUTELY! My mom was they same as your mom so I know exactly what you are saying. Go with your gut.
Good luck.
I do home daycare a few days a week so I get what you are saying. I have an instigator in my house (not saying if it is my kid or someone else's) and when things happen, if I don't SEE it I only punish the one I saw do something. Kids are notoriously lousy at recalling exactly what happened. Just because someone sometimes instigates things, doesn't mean they always do. I try to stay on top of everything and we rarely have it progress to more than just the instigating and me stepping in and moving kids to different activities.
I haven't had any problems with the parents ever (knocking on wood as I type), but even if I couldn't stand the parents at all (I actually love them but let's pretend), it would never affect how I treated the children. The kids I watch are like a part of me because I love them so much. Good luck with this situation. I can imagine how awkward and scry it must feel.
I tagged you for a meme too.
Post a Comment