Thursday, June 01, 2006

Why Is It Easier For Dad To Let Go?

Last night was so very bittersweet for me…we went to Babies R’ Us to get my daughter her first booster seat for the car. While I’m very excited that she’s growing into a very happy, healthy preschooler, at the same time I realize that the time is slipping away too fast.

She was so excited! All through dinner she kept asking when we were going to get her booster. When we got to the store, we pulled down every booster and tried it out on the bench that is out of a real car that you use to test the car seats and such. She had a blast climbing in and out of each one, testing to see whether she could reach the cup holder, or whether or not it was comfortable, etc. She is still such a small little thing, but seeing her sitting there in the boosters, she really looked like a big girl, and tears started piling up in my eyes.

Honestly, we could have kept her in her car seat for at least the next year, but the problem is that my son needs to move to a real car seat, and since we take turns taking them and picking them up from the sitter’s, we each need car seats for both of the kids in each of our cars. And then my sitter takes them places with her, so we also have to provide car seats for her car. Basically that means we have to purchase 3 more of something, and we decided we would much rather purchase 3 booster seats at 1/3 of the cost of the car seat, and then let my son use my daughter’s car seat.

After trying every one they had, we finally found one that was perfect. Out in the parking lot my husband pulled the booster out of the box and put it in the van. My daughter was ecstatic! Then we put my son in my daughter’s old car seat, which was turned around for the first time (front facing now instead of rear facing), and again, tears began welling up. I pulled his carrier out of the shopping cart and went to put it in the back of the van, and with a shaky voice I made the comment to my husband “I guess it’s time to put this away until we have the next one”. His response: “Uh-huh”. He has always gotten so excited as the kids accomplish new things – with every new milestone he rejoices and pushes a little bit harder - for 3 steps instead of two or to say two words instead of one. But the amazing this is how easily he reverted back to “baby-mode” when our son was born. But I still don’t understand, why is it so easy for him to let go of our babies while I’m still struggling so hard to hold on?

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