Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Love/Hate Relationship

Last night went from a great night to a very frustrating night. I picked the kids up from the sitter's and the trip home is always a lot of work. Why? Because my son screams the whole way home. Let me start off by saying that he's VERY attached to me. If he hears my voice or sees me, he instantly crawls over to me and puts his arms in the air and whines to be picked up. So since I haven't seen him all day, he gets very angry at me for saying hello and then putting him in the car seat where he can't see me until we get home. I'm hoping that this problem will go away when we get to turn his car seat around in a couple of weeks. Anyway, my daughter and I are trying like crazy the whole way home to sing and make him laugh so that he's not screaming...and I don't mean crying, I mean screaming, at the top of his lungs! In between the singing and laughing, my daughter informs me that she is getting too big for her car seat. I laugh and say "no you're not!", and she says, in such a grown up way, "mommmm, I'm 3 years-old, and 3 is big!" I just burst out laughing....she is such a cutie!!!

So we get home and my son has actually fallen asleep, so I take the carrier inside and then my daughter and I go play outside. The nice thing about our family is that we aren't on any type of schedule or anything. If we get home and we're hungry, we make dinner and eat. But if my daughter just wants to play, we go play and then come in for dinner later. I think it has made our lives a lot less stressful than they could otherwise be since we can be so laid back about things. Our lives are pretty much completely driven by our kids....if they are hungry, we eat; if they are tired, they go to bed; etc.

So we were out swinging, having a lot of fun, talking to neighbors, and my son wakes up, so I go and get him, and then we go over to the neighbor's house, I give my son a snack, everything's great. Then I decide that we should go in and eat dinner. Unfortunately, my husband is doing yard work, so he watches our daughter, and I have to take our son with me inside to start fixing dinner. I put him in the highchair and the night falls apart. He can't stand the fact that I have to walk away from him 2 feet to make dinner. He screams the entire time I am making dinner, and he takes one bite of everything that I give him and then throws it on the floor. Luckily, we make it through dinner, and then it's off to baths and then out for a walk (great way to wind the kids down and get my exercise!).

This is why I have a love/hate relationship with my kids....I love them more than anything in the world and I love being a mom. But I hate the person that I turn into when I'm frustrated or frazzled. I raise my voice more and I get very short with the kids and my husband. I've been working really hard at not taking my frustrations out on my kids (even if they are the ones that caused them!)

Other than that not much else happened last night. But I did oversleep this morning, which hasn't happened to me in years! I woke up all of a sudden and looked at the clock and it said 7:25, and I have to be at work by 8:00 with a 1/2 hour commute! Luckily I was able to get ready in that 1/2 hour and I didn't even pull my hair up! All I had to do was call in and tell my boss I was running late. I love my job so's never brought up, just a courtesy call, but no one ever asks for any more details. Love it!

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