Friday, November 13, 2009

Stop and Enjoy...

The other day I was behind this car that was going slower than I wanted to go. I was in a hurry…I had gotten held-up at work and I was going to be about 25 minutes late relieving our nanny. And I’m never late for her…I respect her time, and even though I had called her and told her I was late, I still felt horrible. But anyway, this car was going the actual speed limit…not even 5 MPH above. I noticed that an older gentleman was driving the car, and I immediately realized he probably didn’t have anywhere he had to be anytime soon…he didn’t have a nanny to get home to, or kids. Then I thought back to what my life was like before kids…it didn’t matter if I needed to stay late at work…I don’t think I would have even called John if I was only going to be 25 minutes late…I would have to be an hour late in order to warrant a call to him.

Then I started to think about the future…I wondered how it would get back to how it was before kids…will it happen gradually? Will all of the kids get older and soon they would be old enough to care for themselves and not need me to call or rush home? Or will it not happen until my youngest leaves for college and all of a sudden…BAM! No need to call home because no one is there to answer the phone.

These experiences remind me that this time will go quickly, and whether it is in fact gradual, or all of a sudden, my kids will be gone before I know it, and I will no longer have anyone to rush home to (OK, I will have John, but I’m sure he will welcome the opportunity to stay at work since is adores what he does so much).

The trick is trying to find a way to slow down and appreciate the time…any suggestions? I’m desperately trying…but as all of you mothers know, days are filled with routines that involve school, work, homework, meal-cooking, cleaning, and other normal activities. Along with the normal annoyances that kids bring that I will one day miss (there will be a day that no one asks me for juice warmed up with warm water).

I’m scared of my future without kids…I think that’s why I want a lot of them, so that when the youngest finally leaves the house, I really will be too tired to be sad :) I know that John and I will have fun…we have all kinds of plans for retirement, which is why we started having kids so young. But a huge part of what defines me is being a mom, and while I know I always will be one, the importance of me gradually dies down as my kids get older.

So I pray that I remember to stop and enjoy more often. And that I stop trying to hurry everything up, because I know that I’m quickly approaching the point in my life where I will desperately want everything to slow down.


Jen said...

No great suggestions - just writing to say "me too!" I've been thinking about this a lot this week.

Sherry said...

Well I went through the "empty nest" syndrome once, and will go through it two more times!! :( First with my two kids and yep it was hard, then the twins will be gone. Well one is gone all ready and one left, then the sad day when mama goes. I don't know how I will be when it's just Ron and I!!
I do know with mama here, "hurry" isn't possible, but she has helped me stop to smell the roses so to speak!! I take each day and live it to the fullest, enjoy what I have at the moment and have done that for awhile. I don't look any farther than the day as far as everyone leaving Ron and I!!! Not much help to you I realize that but hang in kiddo , it all works out, trust me on that one!! :)

Daddy Dan said...

I feel the same way, Debbie! Time goes by so fast.