Wednesday, November 11, 2009


People who know John know that he is a bit of a neat freak. I honestly can’t remember if I’ve talked about it at all on here, but most people that know us has heard me complain about it more than once.

He has always been super organized…when we first got married he kept every “important” paper we had in a neat place, and he always paid our bills and kept everything super organized. But as far as actual cleaning, I was the one that was crazy about it…my kitchen floors always had to be spotless (I always wanted to be able to walk around without shoes on and not get my socks dirty) and I didn’t want dust anywhere. We would often fight because I felt like I was spending so much time cleaning while he was watching TV.

And then we had kids, and I relaxed a little. I knew that kids make messes and get toys out, and I just didn’t have the energy to keep up with everything all the time. Thankfully when Josh was born, we finally bit the bullet and hired someone to clean our house because it was just not getting done.

And then we moved, and John went into overdrive. I know psychologically it was the new house…he wanted to keep it nice and take care of it. I have since realized that this is an area where he feels success in (which is extremely important for men to feel in order to be comfortable and happy in a relationship). Unfortunately, he seemed to be getting progressively worse.

For a while, he vacuumed almost everyday. Then he went and spent a ridiculous amount on a vacuum (trust me, a dyson doesn’t even come close). He believes that since the kids have a playroom, there is absolutely no need for any of their toys to ever leave that playroom. He steam cleaned the kitchen floor almost daily, and the toys of Ryan’s that are in the family room were always pushed back neatly against the wall.

We were back to having serious conflicts, only this time it was me trying to get him to lighten up and him trying to get me to help him out more. I can’t tell you how many times we fought about this…and I feel like he expects so much of the kids! I mean they are just kids, right?

So we’ve talked and talked, and I think he understands where I am coming from, and I understand and respect how he feels. Making the kids clean up their playroom each night is not a lot to ask. And I definitely don’t want to raise slobs, so after discussing it with him I completely agreed that the kids need to learn how to clean up after themselves. And I make a lot more effort to keep all of my stuff picked up, even though if I lived by myself the stuff would stay where it’s at. And John has lightened up on his cleaning. He only cleans the floor about 1 or 2 times per week, and only vacuums once a week or every-other week (which is still in addition to the bi-weekly cleaning we have done).

BUT….I am spoiled, and I realize that every time I talk to any of my friends. Every morning when I leave for work, the dishes are all done, the counters are clean, and the whole main level is picked up. I never have to worry about inviting people over because our house is almost always clean and picked up. And nothing is ever shoved anywhere…you can always open our closets without fear of anything falling on you :) John really does a fantastic job of keeping our house clean and comfortable. I know that I am super lucky to have such a great husband!

1 comment:

Sherry said...

Was your husband ever in the military? I ask cause Ron is the same way. When the twins first came here , OMG!!! See it was just the two of us and the house spotless, then the twins, and like you said, kids are kids. To this day he always comments on Ashley's room and now it extends to her car!! Me I am more lax about everything. Oh my counters have to be clean, no dishes in the sink etc, In fact I won't sit down to eat supper until the pots and pans are done and kitchen cleaned up. but other than that, I feel life is short and my time is spent with mama and caring for her, she is #1. If it's a choice between cleaning and spending time w/ mama, she wins everytime. I cherish her and all my family, housework comes second cause hey the housework will always be there, we never know when our loved ones will leave us.
But on the whole our home is clean and "homey" not spotless as to make people uncomfortable when they come to visit!!
Funny how everyone has their own lil quirks huh? :)