On Saturday night we went to a friend from college’s to watch our Wonderful Buckeyes advance to the National Championship game. The actual main reason that we went over there was for a celebration party for hubby’s flag football team…they were undefeated for the second year in a row. No one else on this flag football team has any kids. So we got a babysitter and headed over.
Now let me preface the rest of this by telling you how the other women that would be at this party acted towards me a couple of weeks ago. I had gotten to one of the games (with kids in tow) fairly early. So I sat all of our stuff down at one of the table-thingys while waiting to find out which field the guys would be on. I sat the stuff by one of the other wives that was already there. A little after the game had started some of the other wives came, said “hello” to the other wife and me, and then they talked to each other (including the wife already sitting there) and got up and went to a table that was two away from the one I was sitting at. I felt so offended and hurt…and I couldn’t even try to walk over there and talk to them during the game because I had to watch the kids.
So I was completely dreading this party because those same wives would be there. I realize that a lot of my problem is how freaking insecure I am when I’m around non-parents. I have no idea why…but sitting there at the “party” I felt like I was back in college…so unsure of how to act or what to talk about. The other girls that were there stayed in the kitchen the whole time talking about shopping and get-togethers that they had had recently. I knew they had no interest in the fact that I got both kids down for a nap at the same time and I was actually able to get some work done around the house (not that I talk about that kind of stuff or anything). Don’t get me wrong, I tried…kind of. I was pleasant and always piped in when I had something to add, but unfortunately, that wasn’t often. And for me to “not have something to add,” you know it has to be bad.
I’m not even sure what I’m insecure about…I know I compare my looks to them, and then I realized that they were all 10 times skinnier than me. Now I know I sound very vain here, but those are honestly the first couple of thoughts that go through my head.
So how come the minute you get me around other moms, or I’m actually with my kids, I’m the most secure person in the world? Nothing bothers me…I could have 10 ladies making fun of something I’m doing and I wouldn’t be phased…why is this the case? What is it about my kids that makes me feel like I am important, no matter what anyone else thinks? Is anyone else out there like this?
If you can offer any advice or insight to this, I would really appreciate it…I only have my kids for so long…what happens when they’re gone? Will I resort back to my old self? I'm afraid I will.
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6 comments:
As usual, I have no advice to offer. I am the SAME way...I feel good about myself around other mom's and beat myself up when I'm with girls with no children and tons of time on their hands to do what they want, when they want.
As for how you look: sweetie, in your profile picture and a few you've posted on here, you are a BEAUTIFUL girl. You have NOTHING to be worried about. I know it's natural to feel that way...I am SO insecure it's pathetic.
Smile...you're beautiful, you have a great life and we all love you :)
I think that those women did nothing to help the situation.
And as far as you feeling fat or anything? Yea, have you looked at your picture? Far from it!
You don't understand...the one girl was as big as my finger! I'm serious!
You know what? They are probably Jealous of you! Which is why they don't even attempt to make conversation with you...they probably don't know what to say to you either. As for how they look ..hmm their "skinny" because they haven't had kids...and as for how you look...You are beautiful!! I know everyone can tell you this..but you truly are...once you stop worrying about what they think of you, you will realize this and all you have to offer everyone! Keep your chin up and if they make you feel bad about yourself..maybe you should find a new set of "friends". Friends should not make you feel bad about yourself! They should make you feel good for being you!!From what I can tell..you are a great person...its the inside that counts anyway!
Unfortunately, I have no advice here. Perhaps the reason that you feel so secure when you are around other moms or with your kids is because you're happy being just that. A mom. You're good at it so it makes sense that it would make you feel secure.
Try not to worry about what other think. I know that's easier said than done, but you can do it!
I was hoping one of the other commenters had advice because I have none!
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