Friday, February 08, 2008

Not Again....

So we have to find a new sitter again. I don’t even have the energy to describe the past couple of days, but just know my body is about ready to quit on me.

Basically our current sitter doesn’t feel that watching our kids is a huge priority, and if she wants to take some time off she’s going to…even if it puts us in a huge bind (she e-mailed me Monday and told me that she can’t watch the kids next Thursday, Friday, the following Monday or Tuesday because her mom’s coming into town…on top of 3 weeks she had already told me she couldn’t watch the kids, and that was just through July!). We beat this issue to death when we met with her and her husband…we kept emphasizing that we had to have someone dependable and that realized this was a job, with responsibilities.

She also told me that she felt that we didn’t trust her. This shocked me as I have never had that feeling, and when I questioned her about it, she said it was because I brought up an issue with her about my kids being bitten by another child that was in her care. And then, hold on to your seats…she told me the “not being trusted feeling” began when we asked her if we could do a background check on her. I was stunned. She was honestly offended by this! I asked her if it would be OK if her kids went to school and they didn’t background check any of the teachers, and of course she said “no,” but I guess this situation is different.

And then you know what she told me? “You get what you pay for.” Her rates are lower than our previous sitters, but they were set by her, and we tried to give her food and extra money every now and then…but to tell me that…I was so mad. She told me that she set lower rates because she didn’t want to have to do as much. The whole time I just kept telling her that these were things that should have been told to us when we first met!

I’m honestly in shock because I didn’t see any of this coming. Seriously, when you meet this family you think they are the nicest people ever, but at one point in our conversation she made the reference that I was “farming my kids out” and I was livid.

I’m glad we will get my kids out of there…her kids are kind of mean. Her oldest daughter stepped on my daughter’s face (she was punished) and her daughter that is my daughter’s age tells my kids they are stupid and to shut up all the time…not what I want my kids hearing all the time. And lately my daughter has told me that the sitter is on the computer all day and makes her kids get things for her. So after we were hearing all of this we had decided we would start looking again anyway…I just didn’t need to start doing it this week.

So one more stressor in my life…I really don’t know how much more I can take.


Lil Mouse said...

man u really do need a hug. HUGG!!

Lil Mouse said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lesley said...

I've been lurking for a while but I'm coming out the closet to say I hope things work out!

I know it's stressful, but it might be a blessing in disguise - sounds like your kids might be better off in a different setting.

From what I've read, you seem like a great Mom, please don't take her comments to heart. I wish working moms and SAHM's could just respect eachother's decision. We all do the best we can.

Good luck and keep your chin up!

Rachel said...

That's awful!!! First of all, I wouldn't be offended if someone wanted to do a background check on me if I was going to watch their children! Better safe than sorry. She, being a mother, should understand!

I am glad that you are moving your kids though, they deserve better than that. That woman should not be a babysitter!

Dani said...

How awful. It seems like you guys just went through this.

Maybe now that the kids aren't always sleeping in the morning you should check out a daycare center. They might be a more dependable option for you guys. I also say this because I ADORE my daycare and would recommend them to the world.

Sorry this is putting more stress on you. I really feel for your situation. I mean the "trust" issue? As a mom myself, I would completely understand why you would want a background check. Also, what kind of person admits that "my rates are lower because I don't want to do as much." Argh. Don't advertise yourself as something if your not willing to do the job.
Hope you can find someone quick.

Sherry said...

OH I am so ready to go punch that woman out!!! How dare she , you of all people, them most family orientated person I know, and she has the nerve to tell you things like that!!!!!
I agree with Lesley, this has to be a blessing in disguise for sure. If this sitter doesn't take her "job" serious, you so don't want the kids there.
I so hope you find another one soon. Daycare is something to look into. I know my daughter had her girls in one, Salvation Army was one and some school another, she loved them and so did the girls.
Good luck and I hope you are feeling better!!

Anonymous said...

Seriously? Is she kidding?!

When I was going to watch a little boy last year? Before his Mom even brought up the background check, I offered up my name, SS #, DOB, current and previous addresses and my maiden name as well as the same info for Jimmy. I had no problem with it being done. I would do the same thing for anyone that would be watching Morgan.

As for her saying what she did about her rate? That's insane. Yes, it's nice to find a sitter that isn't charging as much or more as a certified day care center, but still. Just because she has a lower rate is NO excuse for her to not be involved with the kids and to take care of them.

I'm floored you have to find another sitter. I'm angry for you. I really wish I lived there or you here--I'd take your kids in a heartbeat!

Good luck....keep us updated.

Squishy Tushy said...

Oh my... I'm speechless.

Offended that you wanted to do a background check?? Did she honestly think you WOULDN'T do one? Puh-leeze.

And you're farming your kids out? That's just rude. Completely inexcusable to say such crap.

Nevermind the crap that your kids have had to put up with! At least you found out about it sooner than later!

Best of luck with your search!

Christy said...

I can't believe it...well when you describe the sitter I can and I think it is for the best. But, I can't believe it the search has to start all over again. You know we are all hear to lend an ear :)

Julie said...

Crap crap crap - I can't believe that. I'm so sorry - I know how much time you put into finding her to begin with.

radioactive girl said...

Move by me! I'd be happy to watch your kids! And I don't blog read/use the computer when my daycare kids are here...I play with the kids. I haven't ever taken one day off except for Disney when I told them 6 months ahead of time. The house across the street from me is for sale....

ktjrdn said...

I've been busy with the house and just got around to catching up.

so sorry to hear this. Day care issues are so stressful! The one time I tried a home day care was horrible. Even now I'm fighting with her becasue she won't give me her ss# so I can claim her pay on my income taxes. Centers have some huge drawbacks, but at least they are reliable.

Not that I'm advocating you switch, I'm just saying that I know how hard it is to sift through all the home ones and come out with a good one.

I'm reading backwards, so I hope there's better news for you coming up.

Unrelated bonus: I just noticed that blogger added back in the ability to link to a non-blogger blog. Is that something you did, or is it a system wide thing? whatever - it's a good thing.

stopping now...