I survived!!!

Actually, this past weekend was really easy and definitely boosted my self-esteem when it comes to being able to care for 4 children…alone :) Not long ago, the thought of John leaving for more than a day was giving me anxiety attacks. It was horrible…I was constantly yelling at the kids and I felt completely drained.

So fast forward to last Thursday when John packed up and hit the road with some friends to head down to Bristol, TN. I had such a positive attitude about it and was not worried at all. However, I was realistic and had no plans, other than going to church, to leave the house the whole weekend :) But then Friday night Kimmie suggested that we go out for pizza, instead of ordering it in, and I thought “OK, I can do this!” I also had my dad there to help, so I was not completely alone!

Then on Saturday we just sat outside all day…it was so gorgeous out! And I decided to take the kids to a hot air balloon show that night. It turns out some other neighbors/friends of ours wanted to go too, so we all went. Unfortunately it was too windy for the balloons the launch, but the kids still got to jump on the bouncy-things and we saw the “glow show,” which was all the hot air balloon baskets in a row playing with their fire-things. We didn’t get home from that until 10:00 and we had so much fun! Again, my dad was there which really helped when I needed to run somewhere and didn’t want to take all the kids with me (i.e. to change Ryan’s d pull-up).

Sunday we went to church (thankfully all of our teachers showed up so I didn’t have to spontaneously teach!) and then home. Somehow I even ended up making lunch and feeding other neighborhood kids for lunch along with my own, and I was fine! Johnny finally came home around 4:00 and it was so good to see him! Not because I felt worn out and exhausted from the kids, but because I really missed him while he was gone :)

Looking back I almost wonder if I was going through some mini-type of depression or something…I know John was having such a hard time because I hated to be home with the kids by myself…it just seemed like so much work! I’m sure the fact that Colton being so young and constantly needing me didn’t help my crazy hormones either. I just always felt so worn out with all of them! But now, I honestly think that I could handle a very long time without John (although I hope I never have to!). It’s a very peaceful feeling to be back to myself, that’s for sure! Colton, while still getting up a lot at night and needing me, has done a great job of sitting in the stroller and playing, or rolling around the floor and entertaining himself, which of course makes it easier for me to care for the other children…he’s not constantly attached to me! But I also feel a huge different in my emotions…I think, maybe, my hormones have finally balanced out, which has made such a difference!

So I’m happy to report that the kids and I survived another Bristol weekend! And while I know I could easily do it again, I’m happy that I won’t have to for another year :)