Good Morning!
So I would definitely consider yesterday (Wednesday) another success! The day started with the big kids going off to school and the little boys getting ready without any fighting. I have a step class at the gym that I like to go to on Wednesday mornings, and lately it's gotten really crowded, so I needed to get there early to get a spot. So for the first time I had Colton walk to school with Ryan without me. I put myself above my thoughts of what a "perfect" parent should do.
After my class, I headed home for a super fast shower because I wanted to head over to the other side of the city and hit a furniture store that was closing along with another very large furniture store that was over there. I only had about 3 hours until the kids would be home, so I had to move fast! On my way out of my town, Kylie texted me telling me that she was crying and there was drama with her friends. Now in the past, I would have immediately gotten angry at the fact that my afternoon plans appeared to be messed up, as well become emotionally involved in her drama, which would have led to me trying to fix the problems and give her all kinds of "advice." Instead, I pulled the car into the next neighborhood I came to and parked. I continued texting with her for a little bit and told her that I would come and get her if she really needed me to, but that I needed to run some errands so she had better tell me quickly what she wants to do. In the end, she stayed at school and I continued on my drive with only a 15 minute delay.
The rest of the day was good...I got home right before the big kids got home from school and gave Kylie lots of hugs. I worked with Josh on his homework and started making dinner. All of these things lately had been driving me crazy. I was sick of "mom" jobs, but I felt more like my old self and it felt great!
Friday, January 27, 2017
Tuesday, January 24, 2017
Day 1 & 2 :)
OK, so while I didn't get to complete my Bible study homework yesterday, I was able to watch the video teaching, which was better than nothing. It's amazing how if I'm really watching, I can clearly see how satan does everything he can to distract me.
I started my day relaxed...nothing hurried, nothing rushed. I was going to the gym but I wouldn't let that feeling of "I have to get out of this house right now" creep in...I took my time and got a bunch of stuff done around the house. Lesson #1 learned, I should have done my Bible study before going to the gym, but alas, I didn't.
As the day went on, I went to the gym and then went to a couple of stores looking for chairs for some rooms that I'm going to have painted. I was very relaxed! Then my sister called me to say that she was coming into town (I had offered to watch my niece if she did so she could go and look for cars). Again, I carefully did not rush, I finished my errands, came home and got ready. Wouldn't you know it that as soon as I sat down to my computer to do the Bible study, she pulls in? So the rest of the day was spent with my adorable little niece and then taking care of the kids when they got home from school :)
However, even though I was not able to do my Bible study, I was able to practice "loving patiently" successfully all day...until last night :( But even then I came out of it on the higher end. There was a series of events (as it always happens) where my daughter said a very hurtful thing to me, Colton didn't listen, I slammed my finger in the drawer, and then Colton didn't listen again. I lost it! But then I calmed myself down and was able to watch a TV show with Josh and then talk to John about the whole thing when he got home from baseball with Ryan.
Today was a different story! While I started a lot of things around the house (laundry, cleaning the kitchen, etc.), I sat down throughout the day and worked on yesterday's homework and today (so I'm caught up!). I had one of Colton's friends come over so he has been pretty entertained all day - I've only had to feed them and occasionally help them out with something.
What I learned in Bible Study:
Day 1:
1.) There are two words for life used in the Bible: bios and zoe. Bios refers to physical life and zoe refers to looking to the fullness of life (the fullness of God). These two types of life are a "both and" not an "either or."
2.) Go allows us to experience spiritual hunger because he wants us to desperately need AND want Him.
3.) Good verse to remember:
Matthew 6:33
But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
4.) My declaration: I have to stop expecting to feel fulfilled by people in this physical world!
Day 2:
1.) Feeding the 5,000 - this is the only miracle that is talked about in all four gospels.
2.) This is the miracle performed right before Jesus' I Am statement that He is the bread of life...His disciples still don't really understand who He is and what He is capable of doing!
So far today I think I have done a really great job of "loving patiently" again! I am beyond amazed at how "easy" it has been. I say that in quotes because I know it's only "easy" because I prayed for this and John is praying for me...there is no other way to even begin to explain the complete shift in feelings from one night to the next morning. When I depend on God, good things happen!
'Til tomorrow!
I started my day relaxed...nothing hurried, nothing rushed. I was going to the gym but I wouldn't let that feeling of "I have to get out of this house right now" creep in...I took my time and got a bunch of stuff done around the house. Lesson #1 learned, I should have done my Bible study before going to the gym, but alas, I didn't.
As the day went on, I went to the gym and then went to a couple of stores looking for chairs for some rooms that I'm going to have painted. I was very relaxed! Then my sister called me to say that she was coming into town (I had offered to watch my niece if she did so she could go and look for cars). Again, I carefully did not rush, I finished my errands, came home and got ready. Wouldn't you know it that as soon as I sat down to my computer to do the Bible study, she pulls in? So the rest of the day was spent with my adorable little niece and then taking care of the kids when they got home from school :)
However, even though I was not able to do my Bible study, I was able to practice "loving patiently" successfully all day...until last night :( But even then I came out of it on the higher end. There was a series of events (as it always happens) where my daughter said a very hurtful thing to me, Colton didn't listen, I slammed my finger in the drawer, and then Colton didn't listen again. I lost it! But then I calmed myself down and was able to watch a TV show with Josh and then talk to John about the whole thing when he got home from baseball with Ryan.
Today was a different story! While I started a lot of things around the house (laundry, cleaning the kitchen, etc.), I sat down throughout the day and worked on yesterday's homework and today (so I'm caught up!). I had one of Colton's friends come over so he has been pretty entertained all day - I've only had to feed them and occasionally help them out with something.
What I learned in Bible Study:
Day 1:
1.) There are two words for life used in the Bible: bios and zoe. Bios refers to physical life and zoe refers to looking to the fullness of life (the fullness of God). These two types of life are a "both and" not an "either or."
2.) Go allows us to experience spiritual hunger because he wants us to desperately need AND want Him.
3.) Good verse to remember:
Matthew 6:33
But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
4.) My declaration: I have to stop expecting to feel fulfilled by people in this physical world!
Day 2:
1.) Feeding the 5,000 - this is the only miracle that is talked about in all four gospels.
2.) This is the miracle performed right before Jesus' I Am statement that He is the bread of life...His disciples still don't really understand who He is and what He is capable of doing!
So far today I think I have done a really great job of "loving patiently" again! I am beyond amazed at how "easy" it has been. I say that in quotes because I know it's only "easy" because I prayed for this and John is praying for me...there is no other way to even begin to explain the complete shift in feelings from one night to the next morning. When I depend on God, good things happen!
'Til tomorrow!
Monday, January 23, 2017
I'm Going To Try This Again...
Life is really crazy at my house right now...really crazy. So crazy that I'm not really enjoying it at all. I'm trying to figure out how to deal with it because my unhappiness is really affecting the whole family, and that is the last thing that I want. So I thought that if I keep myself accountable with blog posts then maybe I can kick this!
Here are some of the other things that I'm going to try this week:
1.) I have a new Bible study starting...Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies - I Am by Lysa TerKeurst
2.) Each day I'm going to work at practicing "Love" according to I Corinthians 13. Today is "Patience."
3.) I'm going to try really, really hard to not put so much pressure on myself. I look at everything my kids do and every single parenting decision I make as how it will affect them long-term. This pressure is too great for me to handle! Sometimes my kids are going to talk back to me, and I can't extrapolate that to mean they will be horrible, bratty teenagers if I don't punish them at that moment for talking back.
So hopefully with all of these things, and a lot of prayer, I can go back to being happy with my life. I have to trust that God is in control of me and that this trial that I'm going through is teaching me something (or lots of somethings). We happen to be studying James at church right now, so the timing of all of this just proves that God is taking care of me!
Here are some of the other things that I'm going to try this week:
1.) I have a new Bible study starting...Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies - I Am by Lysa TerKeurst
2.) Each day I'm going to work at practicing "Love" according to I Corinthians 13. Today is "Patience."
3.) I'm going to try really, really hard to not put so much pressure on myself. I look at everything my kids do and every single parenting decision I make as how it will affect them long-term. This pressure is too great for me to handle! Sometimes my kids are going to talk back to me, and I can't extrapolate that to mean they will be horrible, bratty teenagers if I don't punish them at that moment for talking back.
So hopefully with all of these things, and a lot of prayer, I can go back to being happy with my life. I have to trust that God is in control of me and that this trial that I'm going through is teaching me something (or lots of somethings). We happen to be studying James at church right now, so the timing of all of this just proves that God is taking care of me!
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