Happy, Sad, Confused, Relieved, Scared...Plus a Million Other Emotions I'm Feeling

We filed our 10-K yesterday. It feels so good to have that done! This year went so much smoother than last year, which I would like to attribute to me being better at my job (since last year I had just been thrown into my position and kudos to my boss for putting up with my lack of knowledge and experience!), but who knows. I do know that I had virtually no over-time and very little weekend work the past two months, which is just amazing!

On the flip side of that we had to let our nanny go on Monday. It was one of the hardest days I’ve had in a long time. The previous Saturday Kylie had told me that when they were at McDonald’s, Ryan had fallen out of his carrier, onto the floor. I was caught off-guard and John and I kept going over the whole scenario with her again and again. I contacted the nanny and her response was “Ryan woke up and startled himself and started crying.” Kylie and Josh both said that they saw him on the ground, on his belly. The nanny informed me that she had laid him on the ground to un-swaddle him. I just had such an uneasy feeling the whole weekend.

John and I talked and talked…it was hard because she was so good with the kids! We had some minor issues with her, but we were working through them. But it all kept coming back to judgment. She acknowledged that Ryan was not buckled into his carrier when she was swinging him, and that’s why he got startled. There have also been other judgment issues – Kylie told us that the nanny asked if Kylie could flat iron her own hair one day (my flat iron gets up to 425 degrees) and my fantastic little girl informed her that she’s not allowed to touch my flat iron! But the kids loved her, and she played with them all day, and Ryan really loved snuggling with her.

But Sunday night John and I agreed that we could not worry about the safety of our children, no matter how good she was with the kids. And while we weren’t 100% sure it happened the way Kylie said it did, too many things seemed off and Kylie has no reason to make up a story like that. So we agreed that we would let her know Monday night that we were done, and that whole day I was sick to my stomach.

I mean, my head knew that’s what we had to do. But I have such compassion for this girl, and I knew how much she truly loved the kids, and how hard this was going to be for her (she had cried on the phone when I confronted her about the whole situation on Saturday).

On Monday Kylie called me crying saying that the nanny told her to call me and tell me that she was lying. That she didn’t actually see Ryan fall. I told her and the nanny that they should not be talking about this and that she shouldn’t bring it up again. I guess at one point Kylie went downstairs and found her laying on the floor crying. Kylie asked her what was wrong and she said “I just can’t do anything right.” Later Monday night we learned from Josh that when he was upstairs laying down for his nap her heard Kylie and the nanny talking about it (which was after I specifically told her to stop).

So after work we talked to her. And she cried, but went on her way. And then I cried. A lot. We asked Kylie and Josh again what happened, and realized by this point, with listening to the nanny all day, she didn’t remember what happened…she kept saying “the nanny said he didn’t fall…” But Josh told us that he saw Kylie crying when it happened, and we asked her why she was crying, and she told us that she was worried about Ryan. The nanny said that Kylie “assumed the worst when she heard Ryan crying,” but I’ve never had Kylie come up to me crying when she hears Ryan crying…she just assumes he’s hungry!

Here I go again…trying to convince myself that we did the right thing…which we did….right? I’m just surprised at how many people aren’t shocked when I tell them that Ryan fell out of the carrier. I see more sympathy towards having to let the nanny go than compassion about us having to worry about his safety. These encounters are not helping me feel better about our decision. Am I crazy???

Right now we have our first babysitter watching the kids. She’s the one that started watching Kylie when she was 8 months and had Joshie since he was born. She lives ½ hour away, and while we tried taking the kids there for 6 months after we moved, we just couldn’t keep doing it (she lives ½ hour in the opposite direction of work and home). She comes to our house and has picked up where she left off…the kids know they have rules to follow and I feel so comfortable when I’m at work knowing that they are safe and loved. So that has been a huge relief! I’m trying to hard to convince her that this would be a great job for her and she should take it permanently!

So that’s what has been going on with us. We are now interviewing nannies again and just trying to spend as much time together as a family as possible!

Valentine's Day

What a great Valentine's Day weekend (a little late :) )!

Friday John and I went to Kylie's class party. Her class put on a play and Kylie had the lead! She was the only one that had lines that only she said (the rest of the class was broken into groups and said their lines together). These were her lines:

I'm a lost little Valentine

I'm a sad little Valentine

And I'll tell you why

I must find a home or else I'll cry

Knock, Knock, Knock, is this the home where I belong?

She was so cute!

Friday night John and I went to dinner at Hyde Park. It was a fantastic meal! The only downside was the John had the hiccups :( and when he gets them, he gets them bad! We were there for 2 hours and we got to talk, which was so nice!

My mom called me on the way home saying that Ryan was screaming and she had tried everything. I know it's bad if my mom calls me because she can calm any baby down! So we rushed home and of course, the minute I take him in my arms he's fine. He's such a momma's boy and while it's annoying at times, I really do love him so much, so I can usually tolerate it well.

Friday night Kylie and Josh got to go to Aunt Mimi's for a sleepover! They played games, ate pizza and watched a movie. They said they had so much fun!

Saturday the kids went to a party in the morning, and then we met them at Lowe's for the kids project. After that we went over to the mall so the kids could play in the play area. After that it was home for naps!

Sunday was church and relaxing! It really was a nice weekend!

Valentine's Day Plans

John thinks he's funny :)

We have decided to celebrate Valentine's day on Friday, for a couple of reasons. One of those reasons being that we had not made any plans as of last weekend, and the chances of us getting a reservation anywhere were pretty slim.

The other reason we decided to celebrate it tomorrow night is because Kylie and Josh will be spending the night at my sister-in-law's house (she's hosting a nice big cousin sleepover), so we only needed to find someone to watch Ryan (thanks mom!).

So John was in charge of making reservations. he sends me this e-mail:

Much better. Dinner, Friday night, 7:00PM… http://www.kgtechnology.com/dinner.html

-Hubby-

Go there. Now.

Funny guy, isn't he?

So I play along and tell him I'm so excited that he's taking me to Hawaii, and that I'm leaving work now to go and pack. Then he comes back with "Bobby (CEO of my company) texted me and said you're not allowed to leave...too much work to do...sorry"

When I got home that night he did tell me that we had reservations at Hyde Park, which I'm so excited about because I hear about it all the time but have never been there.

A Fun-Filled Weekend!

What a fantastically crazy busy weekend!

It was my sister’s birthday, so Friday night, she, my mom, Kylie, Ryan and then my other sister went to dinner together (nice girls’ night plus Ry-Ry :) ).

Saturday we got up and went to the gym and then ran to the store. I made the cheesecake for my sister because she doesn’t like normal icing (it was Paula Dean’s recipe and it was the best cheesecake ever!). Then we headed to Buca Di Beppo for dinner. It was so much fun and the food was fantastic!

The fam at dinner

After dinner we headed to the Columbus Blue Jackets game. Joshie is REALLY into hockey, so it was so much fun to watch his face during the game. And his favorite player, Rick Nash, scored one of the three goals, and the Blue Jackets won in OT! Both Kylie and Josh did great during the game, and even Ryan did pretty well (I think it’s funny that he’s 4 ½ months and has been to 2 NHL games already). After the game we came home and ate some great cheesecake and my sister opened her presents.

Ry-Ry enjoying his second hockey game

Blue Jackets Game for Cindy's Birthday from Debbie on Vimeo.

Sunday we went to church where John and I completely lost control of the Sunday school kids :) Not really, but we had a lot of criers, so it was a difficult morning. After church we headed to hockey fest. The Blue Jackets put on this whole event to raise money for their charity. My sister’s boyfriend works for the Blue Jackets, so a big thank you to him for the tickets! We also got to see him a few times while he was working, which was nice. I also really appreciated my mom and sister for watching Ryan so that I didn’t have to worry about him and a stroller while we were there!

Kylie, Big Josh (my sister's boyfriend) and Little Josh

The kids went down and first got their picture taken with a real hockey player. Then they went and took shots at the goalie (who was fantastic! He kept pushing the pucks in when little guys like Joshie didn’t hit them hard enough).

The kids with a real hockey player!

Trying to make goals

Making Goals! from Debbie on Vimeo.

After we spent too much money on the real hockey stuff, we went up to enjoy the free things like the bouncy house and slide and a friendly game of street hockey. The kids had a blast!

Playing Hockey at Hockey Fest from Debbie on Vimeo.

We then went home and took naps, said good-bye to the fam as they headed out, and just tried to rest up for this upcoming week. It really was a great weekend!

Last night I put Ryan in his crib so that I could finish putting away some clothes. I put him on his belly and then put some mirrors in front of him. Kylie was playing with him for a while, and then I had her help me put away her clothes. When she went back, he was on his back! I was shocked, because it usually takes so much longer for kids to roll from their back to their belly since they’re not used to being on their belly. And he hasn’t really rolled much from his back to his belly – he’s happy just being a fat log :) So I turned him back over and sure enough, he rolled again!

Here is Kylie video taping him. He didn’t roll again, but at least you can see some cute smiles :)


Kylie Taping Ryan from Debbie on Vimeo.

And when I got home from work yesterday, this is how I found Josh:

I asked him if he was a girl and he said “yes.” Kylie thought it was funny to get him all dressed up, put lotion and perfume on him, and even put sparkles on him! This is my football loving, hockey playing, always getting in trouble because he’s starting fights with boys everywhere little boy! John actually got home before me, and I couldn’t figure out why he was so calm (those of you that know him know that he is not into Joshie pretending to be a girl…to put it lightly). He then told me that he was going to take a picture and show it to him on his first date.

What am I going to do with this little boy?

New Gadget For Kids...

This morning on two different news shows, I saw the story about how Leap Frog has come out with this new toy that looks just like a smart phone. On each of the shows the people were talking about how bad it was going to be to let your child get addicted to a "phone" so early...and what kind of an example are we?

Give me a freaking break!

Toy manufacturers have made kid-friendly remotes, keys, purses, tools...you name it. Why? Because kids want to be just like mommy and daddy and want to play with things that have buttons and make noise. And I don't know about you, but John and I are attached to our phones (and while I don't have a Blackberry, I do have a Palm Treo so it's very similar-looking). Our kids watch movies on our phones and play games...so why the heck would I not want them to have one of their own so they will leave mine alone?

Technology is moving forward at light speed...and our kids are naturally going to be at the front of it, if not ahead of it.

And just for the record, I LOVE Leap Frog products! Their refrigerator letters and their videos taught both of my kids their letters, and their new Tag reading system is awesome!

So I say more power to them! And you had better believe that when this comes out this summer, at least two of my three kids will have it!

New Year's Eve...

I never posted about our New Year’s Eve :) I’m over a month late…so what?

We decided to have some friends over for New Year’s Eve. We had two families from church, my parents, and our great friends that moved to New York were coming in town for the weekend!

We started around 7:00 with a ton of food. I had the chocolate fountain going and some other items and each family brought something too. We had the Wii set up in one room and the projector on the family room wall for the big ball drop. We had a total of 7 kids playing down in the playroom and basement, and they were all so good the whole night!

Our friends that moved came in around 10:30…it was so good to see them! We hadn’t seen Jose in months! The girls came in and went downstairs to play with the other kids. Kylie was so excited to see Carly! We now had 9 kids playing ranging in ages from 1 to 11.

A little before midnight I started pouring everyone’s champagne and sparkling juice for the kiddos. We all watched the ball drop and there were “cheers” all around. We actually had to rewind the ball dropping a bunch of times for Josh…he wanted to see it over and over again!

It was nice afterwards because people didn’t rush out of there…they hung around until about 1:30. John and I then cleaned up and went to bed :)

Here’s a picture of the kiddos…the poor little girl on the right was so tired, so mom had to hold her head up for the picture…she was not happy!



It was one of the most fun New Year’s Eves I’ve had in a while!

The rest of the weekend we got to hang out with our friends that moved. Their house hasn't sold, so they slept there, but there's nothing in it, so them, us and another set of neighbors all rotated houses and activities. We had dinner together every night, the kids went ice skating, and Kylie was introduced to Perler Beads :) We had so much fun with them and it was hard yet again for them to leave on Sunday. Luckily they'll be coming back for another visit this month!