Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Gasping For Air...

I’m completely and totally exhausted. Not from lack of sleep or from my new little guy, but from my other two kids. I love my kids, of course, but I have never been so worn out as I am right now.

They are loud. They are demanding and apparently they don’t need much sleep. I spend my entire day running around after them and cooking and taking care of them. I think they’ve gotten worse since Ryan has been born…spending days with them has never, ever worn me out.

I feel so guilty for feeling like this. I feel like I’m constantly yelling at them and telling them to be quiet, or careful or to stop fighting. I want to have fun with them. I want to enjoy my time off. But I also want to enjoy Ryan.

Even my laid-back, easy-going little Joshie is completely wearing me down. He doesn’t stop talking, which normally is perfectly fine, but when I don’t get a moment of peace and quiet, it really starts to wear me down.

I’m hoping things will get better in the next week or so. I wish John wasn’t so busy and was able to take time off work to be with us. I wish I had family closer that could give me a little break.

I will be fine…I know that. I just wish I knew when I will start feeling better and more like myself.

14 comments:

Sherry said...

Oh I wish I lived closer to help you out. I think you are just going through the "baby blues" and everything is bothering you.
Don't feel guilty your children know how much you love them. They may be acting out for attention but the way you have raised them, I doubt it. Things will calm down for you soon and the family routine will kick in.
Hang in there and rest when you get a spare "second"

JILL said...

If I was closer I'd come take your two oldest for a fun afternoon out! They are probably a little more loud, etc. because they want attention, too...do you think? I am sure they think it's just great having mom home 24/7 when you are used to working. Wish there was something I could do to help. Hang in there!

The Guider said...

Your little one is not even three weeks old, cut yourself a little slack for not feeling 100%!

I'm sorry you haven't got family nearer to help, my own parents live in another country; when I had my daughter I begged her not to leave after her short visit, so when I had my son, I just booked her in for a long visit knowing I would need her.

It takes time for the kids to adjust to a sibling and the new balance in the house, you'll get there, keep telling yourself that.

(((((((((cyberhugs)))))))))

The Guider said...

When I said "her", I meant my mum, in case it's not clear!

Rachel said...

It will definitely get better. This is why you are Happy "Working" Mom. Being a SAHM is HARD work! I couldn't do it and I am amazed at those women that can. Once you get back to work and you all get into a good routine, things will slow down.

xoxo

Amy W said...

I wish I was closer to help as well...

They are going through a transition as well, and like you said, hopefully it will get better.

There are some days we threaten to take out Ashley's vocal cords...she talks WAY too much.

Daddy Dan said...

Hang in there, Debbie! I'm sure you'll be back to you normal, happy self soon.

I bet the kids are just a little jealous of Ryan and they're both vying for your attention.

Anonymous said...

Things will get better. Everyone is transitioning to having a new little person around and a change of schedule.

I was a zomby for the first two to three months after I had my third. We tried to get to some playgroups and other things to keep the two older kids occupied. Learning to balance two to three while nursing was the hardest transition for me, but somehow everything fell into place.

Hang in there. Have a "date" with your husband and get out for a quick dinner for a breather. :)

Kellie said...

Seriously? Ryan's THREE WEEKS OLD!! This is still a huge adjustment for all of you. Take a deep breath and cut yourself a break.

I SO wish I lived closer. I'd come hang out and entertain the kids while you did whatever it is you need to do.

You're awesome at this Mommy gig. Everything will fall into place in no time :)

Julie said...

You're doing great. Your older ones could be testing the boundaries now that there is a 3rd child in the house too. You know, see what they can get away with. I remember Abby started acting up about 2 weeks after Emily came home - once the "newness" of a baby wore off and she realized Emily was here to stay.

phonemom said...

I say you get at least three months for everything to start to adjust back into some semblance of normal. You just had a baby, and the other kids are going to clamour for your attention for a bit.
Even if you're a bit cross, it's only going to be for a little time while you all adjust to the new version of your family. They'll survive and most likely, they'll never remember a harsh word. They know (and we know) how much you love them.
Give it some time. Good luck!

radioactive girl said...

I am thinking good thoughts for you. The more kids you have, the more exhausting it all is (duh!) I think it will all get better soon, it just takes time for everyone to get used to the new family dynamic. I really wish I could have your older kids over to play/give you a little break!

squishytushy said...

Wow! You're being way too hard on yourself! You're only HUMAN!!!! Your kids are human - they're being loud & demanding because suddenly they have to share you with someone new. Everyone will adjust, and in no time you'll all wonder how you got along WITHOUT Ryan!

Amber said...

Thanks for writing this.