Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Here we go again...

Our nanny has been out on maternity leave since the end of April, scheduled to come back August 2nd. On Monday I get an e-mail from her telling me that she's decided to stay home with her baby permanently. I can't describe the numbness I felt...

She has been the best nanny the kids have ever had. She told us at her interview that she would be wanting kids soon, and would we mind if she brought a child with her to work. We told her it would be fine because since she wasn't pregnant yet, she and the kids would have at least 9 months to get to know each other before adding another one.

About 6 or 7 months later she told me she was pregnant. I was so happy for her and she again confirmed that it would be OK if she brought the baby with her. As her pregnancy went along, we were so happy, and we shared in her joy when she found out she was having a little girl. The kids already talked about what the days would be like when she was there.

In the middle of April she said that she had to stop working a week earlier than planned and left for maternity leave. We were so sad, but we knew it would only be 3 months and she would be back.

Things started going weird from there. She was going to call us when she had the baby, but after hearing nothing and worrying something was wrong, I texted her and she texted me back saying baby was here and fine and they were leaving the hospital. She never called or texted or anything on Kylie's birthday, and I had sent her a card for her birthday and never heard from her. I finally called her one day and she sounded like everything was fine, although she had said that she hadn't taken the baby anywhere yet (and she was over a month old at this point). John said that was his first clue she wouldn't be back. She thought she could bring the baby by on Josh's birthday since I was off that day, but the day rolled around and I only got a text saying she wouldn't be able to make and to tell Josh happy birthday.

Each of these things seemed a little off to me from her normal personality...but every time I would think that maybe she wasn't coming back, I would push it out of my mind because I truly thought she would tell us as soon as she started to think she wasn't coming back.

But instead, she waits until the two busiest weeks of the summer for me at work (which she knows). Two weeks before she's supposed to come back. Two weeks before we have no one to watch the kids. I like to understand the reasons behind things, and I can't stop my mine from desperately trying to figure out why in the world she waited so long to tell us.

Seriously, the last year has been such a wonderful year with her...she was so perfect for us, and now, we're back to square 1. I told her in my e-mail back to her (I can't believe she didn't even call me) that I respected her decision to stay home...I was just so hurt by the fact that she waited so long to tell us.

I know we'll get through this...we always do.

3 comments:

Kellie said...

Ugh. You poor girl! I respect her decision to stay home, too. I don't respect the way she went about letting you know. To me, when you care for someone else's child; when you and that family form a bond of trust and care, you tell them in person.

Maybe I should move to Ohio. Although, my two kids plus your (soon to be) four...could you pay me in massages and tequila? ;)

Good luck with the search!!

Sherry said...

I agree w/ Kellie, I respect her decision but not the way she did it , that was wrong!!! I am sure she hated to disappoint you but wow she could have been up front and honest about it not leave you like that and then not even have any contact etc.
I know it's like devastating to you and the kids, but hey you found her, and I know you will find another one, and yeah one that won't get pregnant, right? That should be in the "clause" tee hee just kidding. Trying to put a tiny smile on your face at least. On the serious side, I know it will work out, remember "The Lord Works in Mysterious Ways" Ours is not to know the reason why, but to have faith and trust. :)

phonemom said...

I cannot believe the problems you have had with childcare.
I'm with everyone else, everyone understands how you finally get that little human of your own and then decide you're not going back to work. But... to leave you hanging until the last moment? That's is insensitive and uncaring for your family.
Good luck. I am sending happy vibes and childcare prayers your way!!