Two Years Ago...

This busy time of year brings back so many memories for me…it was this time of year two years ago that was the hardest two months of my life so far.

Two years ago in December my boss quit. It was such a crazy time…trying to figure out who would take her work and hiring a replacement for her. I was not ready for her job…I was definitely in training to take it on at some time, but this was not the time. However, we had a 10-K to file and there was no way we could hire someone in time to file it (and a 10-K is our hardest document of all the filings). So my interim boss and I dove in to try to get the work done.

In the middle of January I found out I was pregnant. I was super excited, but right away I could feel how tired and worn out I was going to be trying to take care of the other two kids on top of being pregnant.

It was also during this time that our childcare situation blew up in our face. The kids were rushed first to my parents’ and then to daycare. John and I spent hours agonizing on what we were going to do and who would watch the kids.

The stress in my life was horrendous. I lived each and every day with a gigantic knot in my stomach (which didn’t go away until a couple of days after I filed the 10-K). I was so worried that my stress was going to hurt the baby, and was amazed each time I went to the doctor and he was fine. I worked until 7:00 each night and worked a ton each and every weekend. The process was so new to me…there was so much I didn’t know, but was expected to know (in a good way…I learned so much during this time).

And then I got through that…I filed the 10-K, we found a nanny for the kids, and I entered my second trimester and started feeling better. And after all that, my interim boss decided that it was silly to hire someone to do what I just did, and promoted me to the position.

And even though I got through those two months, I can still feel the pit in my stomach when I think back to that time. I can vividly remember working all those hours and barely being able to have time to breathe. But working through those months has made me a much better person…I’m better at my job, and I’m living proof that stress does not kill a baby.

So last year I went through this time with a new baby. I was so worried that I would be working like crazy again and never be home. But that wasn’t the case…I got through those months with flying colors and worked barely any overtime…just a few hours here and there at home. It was amazing how much I had learned in that year…it made the 10-K such an easier process!

And this year is following the same path. I keep questioning myself because things are going so smoothly. I have been able to go to the gym a few nights a week, and I am seeing and playing with the kids just as much as normal. My work-life balance is amazing!

So I’m keeping my fingers crossed that the month of February works out to be just as “easy” as January has been. We file at the end of February, and after that it’s time for spring to get here and for new projects and adventures. And I’m truly thankful for that “hell” year that I had to go through…the discipline it taught me and knowing that I got through the work by myself has given me the confidence I have needed to do my job over the last two years.