Our nanny has been out on maternity leave since the end of April, scheduled to come back August 2nd. On Monday I get an e-mail from her telling me that she's decided to stay home with her baby permanently. I can't describe the numbness I felt...
She has been the best nanny the kids have ever had. She told us at her interview that she would be wanting kids soon, and would we mind if she brought a child with her to work. We told her it would be fine because since she wasn't pregnant yet, she and the kids would have at least 9 months to get to know each other before adding another one.
About 6 or 7 months later she told me she was pregnant. I was so happy for her and she again confirmed that it would be OK if she brought the baby with her. As her pregnancy went along, we were so happy, and we shared in her joy when she found out she was having a little girl. The kids already talked about what the days would be like when she was there.
In the middle of April she said that she had to stop working a week earlier than planned and left for maternity leave. We were so sad, but we knew it would only be 3 months and she would be back.
Things started going weird from there. She was going to call us when she had the baby, but after hearing nothing and worrying something was wrong, I texted her and she texted me back saying baby was here and fine and they were leaving the hospital. She never called or texted or anything on Kylie's birthday, and I had sent her a card for her birthday and never heard from her. I finally called her one day and she sounded like everything was fine, although she had said that she hadn't taken the baby anywhere yet (and she was over a month old at this point). John said that was his first clue she wouldn't be back. She thought she could bring the baby by on Josh's birthday since I was off that day, but the day rolled around and I only got a text saying she wouldn't be able to make and to tell Josh happy birthday.
Each of these things seemed a little off to me from her normal personality...but every time I would think that maybe she wasn't coming back, I would push it out of my mind because I truly thought she would tell us as soon as she started to think she wasn't coming back.
But instead, she waits until the two busiest weeks of the summer for me at work (which she knows). Two weeks before she's supposed to come back. Two weeks before we have no one to watch the kids. I like to understand the reasons behind things, and I can't stop my mine from desperately trying to figure out why in the world she waited so long to tell us.
Seriously, the last year has been such a wonderful year with her...she was so perfect for us, and now, we're back to square 1. I told her in my e-mail back to her (I can't believe she didn't even call me) that I respected her decision to stay home...I was just so hurt by the fact that she waited so long to tell us.
I know we'll get through this...we always do.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
4th of July, 2010 Recap...
I can’t believe I have not yet posted our 4th of July weekend recap! I guess better late than never!
So the Friday before the 4th John and I took off work. We got to sleep in and spend the morning in the sun cleaning out the toy bins in the garage. John was planning on taking Joshie golfing, but Joshie had lost his golf glove, which he had to have or else he gets blisters. So after not finding it in the garage, we headed to the sporting goods store to get him another one. Kylie was actually being a good sport through this because she had been saying that she was going to save her money to buy a set of golf clubs, and that if she saved every week she would have enough money in November.
While we were walking around the store, I noticed a set of pink golf clubs that were Kylie’s size. I pulled John aside and told him I thought we should ask her if she wanted to spend all of the money in her piggy bank right now to buy them, and we would pay the rest. John agreed and when we asked Kylie she was super excited! So we bought everything and headed out so that we could get golfing!
My dad watched Ryan for us, and the four of us headed to a really cute little par 3 close to our house. I hadn’t been golfing since I was pregnant with Kylie, and it felt so good to get back into it. The kids were having a blast! We ended up playing 7 holes, which seemed to be the perfect amount for the kids.
That evening we headed over to some local fountains with some house church people and had a picnic dinner. The kids played in the fountains and ran around in the grass while the adults got to relax.
After that we came home and our neighbors had a fire, so we all joined them over there and roasted marshmallows and made s’mores. The kids were so tired from the long day, so my dad took them over to his house and they all went to bed. We stayed for a long time! We even sent the boys to get us Taco Bell because it was about midnight and we were so hungry! We ended up coming in around 1:30 AM, which is the latest I’ve stayed out in a long time :)
The next morning Kylie had gymnastics practice and Joshie had football practice at 9:00 AM, so getting up was a little difficult :) But we got through those and then headed to Joshie’s t-ball game at lunch time. After the game we came home and I tried to get the kids down for naps, but gave up because there were just not going to sleep. We spent the rest of the afternoon over at our neighbor’s house and the kids played in the baby-pool and the slip n’slide. The boys ran out and got us City Barbque for dinner and the day was coming to a nice end. Kylie was not feeling well in the heat, so she walked home and just after she went inside Josh came out and told us she had gotten sick. We packed everything up and headed inside. Thankfully she was fine…I think she was just really affected by the heat.
The next morning we went to church and then out to lunch with my dad. When we got home everyone took a nap :) After that we went outside and just took it easy…grilled hot dogs for dinner and just relaxed.
On Monday we got up and went to the grocery store and then came home and John and the kids washed my car and I chased after Ryan all afternoon :) That was pretty much all we did all afternoon, and then we grilled out a great dinner. John and I were absolutely exhausted by Monday night…we couldn’t even really gather up the energy for Front Porch Monday!
The weather was gorgeous (very different from the previous years) and we had a perfect balance of events and relaxing on this 4th of July. I was so nice to have such a long break from the normal routine!
So the Friday before the 4th John and I took off work. We got to sleep in and spend the morning in the sun cleaning out the toy bins in the garage. John was planning on taking Joshie golfing, but Joshie had lost his golf glove, which he had to have or else he gets blisters. So after not finding it in the garage, we headed to the sporting goods store to get him another one. Kylie was actually being a good sport through this because she had been saying that she was going to save her money to buy a set of golf clubs, and that if she saved every week she would have enough money in November.
While we were walking around the store, I noticed a set of pink golf clubs that were Kylie’s size. I pulled John aside and told him I thought we should ask her if she wanted to spend all of the money in her piggy bank right now to buy them, and we would pay the rest. John agreed and when we asked Kylie she was super excited! So we bought everything and headed out so that we could get golfing!
My dad watched Ryan for us, and the four of us headed to a really cute little par 3 close to our house. I hadn’t been golfing since I was pregnant with Kylie, and it felt so good to get back into it. The kids were having a blast! We ended up playing 7 holes, which seemed to be the perfect amount for the kids.
That evening we headed over to some local fountains with some house church people and had a picnic dinner. The kids played in the fountains and ran around in the grass while the adults got to relax.
After that we came home and our neighbors had a fire, so we all joined them over there and roasted marshmallows and made s’mores. The kids were so tired from the long day, so my dad took them over to his house and they all went to bed. We stayed for a long time! We even sent the boys to get us Taco Bell because it was about midnight and we were so hungry! We ended up coming in around 1:30 AM, which is the latest I’ve stayed out in a long time :)
The next morning Kylie had gymnastics practice and Joshie had football practice at 9:00 AM, so getting up was a little difficult :) But we got through those and then headed to Joshie’s t-ball game at lunch time. After the game we came home and I tried to get the kids down for naps, but gave up because there were just not going to sleep. We spent the rest of the afternoon over at our neighbor’s house and the kids played in the baby-pool and the slip n’slide. The boys ran out and got us City Barbque for dinner and the day was coming to a nice end. Kylie was not feeling well in the heat, so she walked home and just after she went inside Josh came out and told us she had gotten sick. We packed everything up and headed inside. Thankfully she was fine…I think she was just really affected by the heat.
The next morning we went to church and then out to lunch with my dad. When we got home everyone took a nap :) After that we went outside and just took it easy…grilled hot dogs for dinner and just relaxed.
On Monday we got up and went to the grocery store and then came home and John and the kids washed my car and I chased after Ryan all afternoon :) That was pretty much all we did all afternoon, and then we grilled out a great dinner. John and I were absolutely exhausted by Monday night…we couldn’t even really gather up the energy for Front Porch Monday!
The weather was gorgeous (very different from the previous years) and we had a perfect balance of events and relaxing on this 4th of July. I was so nice to have such a long break from the normal routine!
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Joshie's Birthday...
I took the day off for Joshie’s birthday. Because of this, I let Kylie have two of her friends spend the night. Thursday morning, everyone woke up in great moods and I made a huge breakfast of French toast, French toast sticks, bacon and sausage for everyone. After breakfast we all loaded up the car and I took the girls home and we left for Joshie’s 5-year check-up.
He was so nervous about the shots. He was acting a little silly with the doctor because he was so nervous. The doctor asked some questions about his eating since he’s so small for his age (and dropping percentiles each year) but not really concerned because he’s proportionate and I told her that he does eat, he just never stops moving!
He did end up getting two shots and screamed his little head off! He tensed up so much before the shots, and I think that’s what contributed to him having a hard time walking all day! I had to give him Motrin, and I never have to give my kids medicine after their shots!
After the appointment we headed to Culver’s for lunch. Poor Ryan fell asleep on the way there because he was so tired! The kids had a good lunch, and afterwards, we headed to a little cupcake bakery in town to pick up some birthday cupcakes for us to eat that night. They had so many kinds that looked so good! After we picked so good flavors out we headed home and everyone (including me) took a 2 hour nap!
After our naps we headed outside to play. John came home and we gave Joshie one of his presents, which was a watch. He loved it! It has a timer, alarm, and is waterproof…he brags about it to all of his friends :)
A little later we loaded up the car and grabbed our neighbors and headed to Chuck E. Cheese’s. All of the kids had so much fun playing! I love going on weeknights because there was hardly anyone there and the kids could easily run around and play.
We got home pretty late, but we still ate our cupcakes and opened presents. John and I got him some more boxers, a camping latern, water balloons and a headlight for his bike. My mom also got him some more boxers, and my in-laws got him some magnetic printing paper, $5 and a McDonald’s gift card. He was all smiles the whole time and loved each gift!
It was such a great birthday day for him!
He was so nervous about the shots. He was acting a little silly with the doctor because he was so nervous. The doctor asked some questions about his eating since he’s so small for his age (and dropping percentiles each year) but not really concerned because he’s proportionate and I told her that he does eat, he just never stops moving!
He did end up getting two shots and screamed his little head off! He tensed up so much before the shots, and I think that’s what contributed to him having a hard time walking all day! I had to give him Motrin, and I never have to give my kids medicine after their shots!
After the appointment we headed to Culver’s for lunch. Poor Ryan fell asleep on the way there because he was so tired! The kids had a good lunch, and afterwards, we headed to a little cupcake bakery in town to pick up some birthday cupcakes for us to eat that night. They had so many kinds that looked so good! After we picked so good flavors out we headed home and everyone (including me) took a 2 hour nap!
After our naps we headed outside to play. John came home and we gave Joshie one of his presents, which was a watch. He loved it! It has a timer, alarm, and is waterproof…he brags about it to all of his friends :)
A little later we loaded up the car and grabbed our neighbors and headed to Chuck E. Cheese’s. All of the kids had so much fun playing! I love going on weeknights because there was hardly anyone there and the kids could easily run around and play.
We got home pretty late, but we still ate our cupcakes and opened presents. John and I got him some more boxers, a camping latern, water balloons and a headlight for his bike. My mom also got him some more boxers, and my in-laws got him some magnetic printing paper, $5 and a McDonald’s gift card. He was all smiles the whole time and loved each gift!
It was such a great birthday day for him!
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Happy Birthday Joshie!
Dear Joshie,
Today you are 5. I sit here shaking my head because I can’t figure out where the past 5 years have gone. You were my first little boy and my introduction to a good sleeper, peeing standing up (and outside), football, and hockey. I was so nervous to have a boy since I only had sisters and I didn’t really know anything about boys, but you have made raising a boy seem like a walk in the park!
This past year you started flag football, which was a highlight because since you were old enough to understand, your dad has been telling you that you could play football when you were 4. So last fall we signed you up and you were on the Dublin Browns team. I don’t like football…I didn’t understand it and I thought it was so boring. But I LOVED watching you play. You were the youngest kid out there and yet you were so fast! You wanted to play again in the spring league, so Daddy coached your team (the Hilliard Titans) and you guys were undefeated during the season! You also got to play in the Horseshoe! You loved being in that tournament and were so sad when you lost and had to go home. You were one of the best players on the team! Everyone commented about how fast you were and shocked to learn that you were only 4 years-old. You were so good that you’re going to play on the all-star team in July!
You have also started t-ball. You weren’t supposed to start because you missed the cutoff age by just a little bit, but since Daddy and Noah’s daddy were coaching, we signed you up anyway. Again, you’re one of the better kids on the team! But I know you don’t like it near as much as football!
You have such a huge heart…I know one day you’re going to make some girl so very happy! One night when I was picking up some stuff upstairs you heard me say “ouch,” and you heard me tell Daddy that I ran into something. You were sitting on the couch with daddy and I heard you tell him “I’ll be back in a minute.” You came upstairs and brought me a Diet Coke to help me feel better. You are such a sweet boy!
You love playing with Kylie, although this year you have migrated more towards Ryan since he loves playing football and baseball with you. You’re not really into playing school which is all Kylie wants to play :) But you are a great little brother to her, and when you’re not in his face, you’re a great big brother to Ryan :)
Your friends in the neighborhood right now are Tony and Noah, and Wyatt at church. You like Isabella at church and we all hope that someday you really will marry her :)
This fall you will start Kindergarten. I can’t believe that you’re old enough! Although I’ve always been worried about how you’ll do and what we’ll expect of you because of how much Kylie has loved and excelled in school, I now truly believe you will be great. You can read a little bit already and have such a great grasp on math because of all the sports scores you’re constantly adding up! I don’t get colored pictures from you anymore, I get the scores and the teams from recent games you’ve had going on in your head :)
I couldn’t have asked for a better little boy and I hope you always know how much I love you! Thank you for being the special boy that you are and I can’t wait to see what the next year brings!
Happy 5th Birthday!
Love,
Mommy
Today you are 5. I sit here shaking my head because I can’t figure out where the past 5 years have gone. You were my first little boy and my introduction to a good sleeper, peeing standing up (and outside), football, and hockey. I was so nervous to have a boy since I only had sisters and I didn’t really know anything about boys, but you have made raising a boy seem like a walk in the park!
This past year you started flag football, which was a highlight because since you were old enough to understand, your dad has been telling you that you could play football when you were 4. So last fall we signed you up and you were on the Dublin Browns team. I don’t like football…I didn’t understand it and I thought it was so boring. But I LOVED watching you play. You were the youngest kid out there and yet you were so fast! You wanted to play again in the spring league, so Daddy coached your team (the Hilliard Titans) and you guys were undefeated during the season! You also got to play in the Horseshoe! You loved being in that tournament and were so sad when you lost and had to go home. You were one of the best players on the team! Everyone commented about how fast you were and shocked to learn that you were only 4 years-old. You were so good that you’re going to play on the all-star team in July!
You have also started t-ball. You weren’t supposed to start because you missed the cutoff age by just a little bit, but since Daddy and Noah’s daddy were coaching, we signed you up anyway. Again, you’re one of the better kids on the team! But I know you don’t like it near as much as football!
You have such a huge heart…I know one day you’re going to make some girl so very happy! One night when I was picking up some stuff upstairs you heard me say “ouch,” and you heard me tell Daddy that I ran into something. You were sitting on the couch with daddy and I heard you tell him “I’ll be back in a minute.” You came upstairs and brought me a Diet Coke to help me feel better. You are such a sweet boy!
You love playing with Kylie, although this year you have migrated more towards Ryan since he loves playing football and baseball with you. You’re not really into playing school which is all Kylie wants to play :) But you are a great little brother to her, and when you’re not in his face, you’re a great big brother to Ryan :)
Your friends in the neighborhood right now are Tony and Noah, and Wyatt at church. You like Isabella at church and we all hope that someday you really will marry her :)
This fall you will start Kindergarten. I can’t believe that you’re old enough! Although I’ve always been worried about how you’ll do and what we’ll expect of you because of how much Kylie has loved and excelled in school, I now truly believe you will be great. You can read a little bit already and have such a great grasp on math because of all the sports scores you’re constantly adding up! I don’t get colored pictures from you anymore, I get the scores and the teams from recent games you’ve had going on in your head :)
I couldn’t have asked for a better little boy and I hope you always know how much I love you! Thank you for being the special boy that you are and I can’t wait to see what the next year brings!
Happy 5th Birthday!
Love,
Mommy
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Kevin's Wedding Weekend...
Last weekend John’s brother got married. So Friday morning we loaded up the car and headed down to Athens. Well, I take that back…we loaded up at 9:00 AM, ran to Yutzy’s and Dings and Dents, then over to a friend’s office to drop off all of the children’s stuff for church, went home and packed up the car with our suitcases and stuff, went to John’s office, and then finally hit the road. We didn’t arrive in Athens until 2:00! I was definitely sick of being in the car, and really, just sick overall anyway.
We head over to my parents’ house and unloaded everything. I sent everyone up for naps because we were all going to the rehearsal dinner and I didn’t want any cranky kids! I forget what I did during their naps, but I know I never got to sit down :)
The rehearsal dinner was nice…the kids had so much fun playing with their two cousins and all of John’s extended family offered their congratulations about the baby. We stayed for a long time, and afterwards we headed over to John’s parents’ house where the kids played some more with Carson and Mya.
Saturday was a super-crazy day. We woke up and John went golfing with his brother and the other groomsmen, so I had all three kids by myself for the whole day. My dad and I loaded up the kids and headed to the farmers market. It was getting so hot! I saw that there was a new sporting goods store, so we went in there, because I was also in charge of getting John’s Father’s day present (he knew what he wanted to get him but never had time to go and get it the week before) and I also had to get John his present. I ended up finding exactly what John wanted for his dad, and the kids and I decided to get John and tent so that we could all go camping (John has a tent but the rain-thing/top-thing has holes in it).
After that we headed up town for lunch because I had a very cranky littlest boy and we were all starved! We went to the Diner, which has always been one of my favorite places to go while pregnant. John ended up meeting us there because his golfing and lunch were over earlier than he thought they would be.
We headed home and everyone went down for naps. I started getting ready for the wedding and packing our stuff up. So not only did I have to get three kids and myself ready for the wedding, I also had to get our car packed up and ready to go so that we could leave for home right after the reception (these are all the things that led up to my meltdown if you can’t tell).
I get myself and all of the kids dressed and ready for the wedding, and with the help of Cindy and Big Josh we get the car all loaded up and actually get to the ceremony 20 minutes before the wedding starts. I have to admit I was pretty proud of myself!
The weather was gorgeous (there had been chances of rain but the sky was so blue!) and the ceremony took place under a lot of trees so in the shade it was the perfect temperature! The actual wedding was so short! 15 minutes tops from the minute the people started walking in until the bride and groom left! Ryan kept talking during the ceremony, even though I kept trying to stuff his mouth with fishies! And as soon as he saw John up there he just kept saying “Daddy!”
Afterwards John had to do more pictures, so I was again trying to wrangle the three kids. Actually, it really was just Ryan and making sure I could see the other two :) I had never heard anything about a limo or anything, so I just assumed John would be going to the reception with us. WRONG. They had a bus and the bridal party was going uptown for what a bunch of us thought were more pictures.
So we head over to the reception, only to find that “cocktail hour” meant drinks…no food. My poor stomach was not doing well, along with the heat in the room and trying to keep three hungry kids happy. The bridal party did not show up for an hour! Guess why! They went uptown to a bar! They were up there drinking while we were all hungry :(
I don’t know when I finally got to eat, but by the time they called our table I was miserable. I have noticed that with this pregnancy, if I need to eat my chemicals are all off and I get very mean and irrational. I can almost feel everything getting back to normal when I eat. Anyway, this is about when the tears started coming…I had had enough and I didn’t think I could finish the night. John finally came over and I told him that I was losing it. How was I going to have 4 kids if I can’t even take care of 3 kids by myself for a day? Thankfully by this time I had my food and was eating, so at least I was feeling a little better.
The hardest part for me was the fact that John felt the need to stay with the bridal party for so long. No one else in the party had kids that needed taken care of. I needed help…badly. I tried really hard to respect this because I know if it was my wedding I would want everyone with me, but I have to admit the selfish part of me showed through and I was angry.
Finally, John came over for good and took Ryan out of my arms. It’s amazing how just a 5 minute break from having to watch anyone can completely rejuvenate me…John said he notice such a huge difference! Kylie danced a ton, and mostly with the bride! She also caught the bouquet :) Around 9:30 we decided to start loading up and get out of there. I was so done and ready to be in my own bed!
On the way home John and I really talked about everything. That’s when he assured me over and over again that we are in this together and parenting is a team thing. He also thanked me over and over again for letting him have that day to spend with his brother and the others without worrying about me or the kids. I told him that I felt so guilty for acting the way I did, but I really felt like I was losing control. He assured me he understood, and that there will be times like that :) He also kept telling me what a great mom I was, which is weird because I really don’t think of myself as a great mom. I just think of myself as someone who is trying as hard as she can to raise good, Christian kids, who won’t hate her when they’re older :)
Sunday I woke up so sore from holding Ryan all day on Saturday! We went to church and then just hung around the house all day. I took a nap, which was desperately needed, and then my mom came over and made us dinner. It was a gorgeous night and we ate outside.
It was such a crazy, stressful weekend, but it was fun being down in Athens again. This weekend is Powell Fest, and even though John will be there Friday and Saturday (leaving me to be with the kids by myself again), I’m not worried because we’ll be at home! Naps can be taken when needed, we can eat when we’re hungry and we can just hang out without any stress about having to be somewhere :)
We head over to my parents’ house and unloaded everything. I sent everyone up for naps because we were all going to the rehearsal dinner and I didn’t want any cranky kids! I forget what I did during their naps, but I know I never got to sit down :)
The rehearsal dinner was nice…the kids had so much fun playing with their two cousins and all of John’s extended family offered their congratulations about the baby. We stayed for a long time, and afterwards we headed over to John’s parents’ house where the kids played some more with Carson and Mya.
Saturday was a super-crazy day. We woke up and John went golfing with his brother and the other groomsmen, so I had all three kids by myself for the whole day. My dad and I loaded up the kids and headed to the farmers market. It was getting so hot! I saw that there was a new sporting goods store, so we went in there, because I was also in charge of getting John’s Father’s day present (he knew what he wanted to get him but never had time to go and get it the week before) and I also had to get John his present. I ended up finding exactly what John wanted for his dad, and the kids and I decided to get John and tent so that we could all go camping (John has a tent but the rain-thing/top-thing has holes in it).
After that we headed up town for lunch because I had a very cranky littlest boy and we were all starved! We went to the Diner, which has always been one of my favorite places to go while pregnant. John ended up meeting us there because his golfing and lunch were over earlier than he thought they would be.
We headed home and everyone went down for naps. I started getting ready for the wedding and packing our stuff up. So not only did I have to get three kids and myself ready for the wedding, I also had to get our car packed up and ready to go so that we could leave for home right after the reception (these are all the things that led up to my meltdown if you can’t tell).
I get myself and all of the kids dressed and ready for the wedding, and with the help of Cindy and Big Josh we get the car all loaded up and actually get to the ceremony 20 minutes before the wedding starts. I have to admit I was pretty proud of myself!
The weather was gorgeous (there had been chances of rain but the sky was so blue!) and the ceremony took place under a lot of trees so in the shade it was the perfect temperature! The actual wedding was so short! 15 minutes tops from the minute the people started walking in until the bride and groom left! Ryan kept talking during the ceremony, even though I kept trying to stuff his mouth with fishies! And as soon as he saw John up there he just kept saying “Daddy!”
Afterwards John had to do more pictures, so I was again trying to wrangle the three kids. Actually, it really was just Ryan and making sure I could see the other two :) I had never heard anything about a limo or anything, so I just assumed John would be going to the reception with us. WRONG. They had a bus and the bridal party was going uptown for what a bunch of us thought were more pictures.
So we head over to the reception, only to find that “cocktail hour” meant drinks…no food. My poor stomach was not doing well, along with the heat in the room and trying to keep three hungry kids happy. The bridal party did not show up for an hour! Guess why! They went uptown to a bar! They were up there drinking while we were all hungry :(
I don’t know when I finally got to eat, but by the time they called our table I was miserable. I have noticed that with this pregnancy, if I need to eat my chemicals are all off and I get very mean and irrational. I can almost feel everything getting back to normal when I eat. Anyway, this is about when the tears started coming…I had had enough and I didn’t think I could finish the night. John finally came over and I told him that I was losing it. How was I going to have 4 kids if I can’t even take care of 3 kids by myself for a day? Thankfully by this time I had my food and was eating, so at least I was feeling a little better.
The hardest part for me was the fact that John felt the need to stay with the bridal party for so long. No one else in the party had kids that needed taken care of. I needed help…badly. I tried really hard to respect this because I know if it was my wedding I would want everyone with me, but I have to admit the selfish part of me showed through and I was angry.
Finally, John came over for good and took Ryan out of my arms. It’s amazing how just a 5 minute break from having to watch anyone can completely rejuvenate me…John said he notice such a huge difference! Kylie danced a ton, and mostly with the bride! She also caught the bouquet :) Around 9:30 we decided to start loading up and get out of there. I was so done and ready to be in my own bed!
On the way home John and I really talked about everything. That’s when he assured me over and over again that we are in this together and parenting is a team thing. He also thanked me over and over again for letting him have that day to spend with his brother and the others without worrying about me or the kids. I told him that I felt so guilty for acting the way I did, but I really felt like I was losing control. He assured me he understood, and that there will be times like that :) He also kept telling me what a great mom I was, which is weird because I really don’t think of myself as a great mom. I just think of myself as someone who is trying as hard as she can to raise good, Christian kids, who won’t hate her when they’re older :)
Sunday I woke up so sore from holding Ryan all day on Saturday! We went to church and then just hung around the house all day. I took a nap, which was desperately needed, and then my mom came over and made us dinner. It was a gorgeous night and we ate outside.
It was such a crazy, stressful weekend, but it was fun being down in Athens again. This weekend is Powell Fest, and even though John will be there Friday and Saturday (leaving me to be with the kids by myself again), I’m not worried because we’ll be at home! Naps can be taken when needed, we can eat when we’re hungry and we can just hang out without any stress about having to be somewhere :)
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Surprise!!!!
About 6 weeks ago I sent John the following e-mail:
“Yesterday in church, when Denny was talking about Sarah and Abraham and how God sent them messages, I was really jealous of the “Bible” people that got clear commands and messages from God. I thought, “how easy it would be to do what you’re supposed to do and be fine with it when it’s coming directly from God! I mean how easy could life get, right?”
I’m not jealous anymore.”
And then I attached the following picture:
I say this because for once I can see how people would doubt God’s plans and question why he wanted them to do something. Because that was what I was doing ever since I saw that second line pop up (which was rather quickly I might add).
We had always thought we had wanted 4 kids. But dealing with three, and the fact that Ryan is getting easier and easier every day, has made us question our original thoughts. We had discussed it off and on, realizing that we didn’t want too much time to pass if we were in fact going to have another one. We both thought that in the future, the picture would not be complete with just three, but I hate being pregnant (which is a known fact), and it’s really hard to have babies around when you have a bunch of older kids that need your attention, or need a diaper change, or need to eat. We did both agree too that we liked the 3 year gap between Josh and Ryan better than the 2 year gap between Kylie and Josh – we were able to enjoy Ryan so much more! So we both agreed that we would come back to the discussions after my sister’s wedding in August, because of course, there’s no way I could be pregnant during that…I already had my bridesmaid dress up in the closet, and there was a bachelorette party to go too…
Apparently God had other, bigger, better plans. I’m good about planning, and therefore, if I didn’t want a baby, I was doing what I should be doing to prevent one. But nothing is going to prevent God from doing what he wants. Therefore, this baby will be the constant lesson to ALL of our children that no birth control is 100%foolproof!
Thankfully, when I told John he was super excited, which helped me a little bit. Even though I feel sick, there are lots of times that I let myself forget about this whole thing. I don’t want to sound like I’m not happy, because babies do make me happy (especially when they’re mine), but they also make me tired; very tired. And right now I have three babies at home that are exhausting me – through no fault of their own…they’re just being normal kids!
I got to see the baby wiggling around and its little heart beating like crazy last week…that made it a little more real for me. But I’m not going to lie…when I was taking care of the kids by myself at John’s brother’s wedding this past weekend, I all but had a major meltdown because I can’t figure out how I’m going to have the patience and energy to take care of 4 kids. But then on the way home John again told me he thought I was a fabulous mother, and reminded me that we are a team, and that neither of us could do this on our own…we have to rely on each other. I definitely felt a lot better…
So now the countdown to January 18, 2011 begins (30 weeks to be exact). And while I doubt my abilities, I must keep remembering that God will take care of me and help me, and if I give all of my worries over to Him, I will be OK.
“Yesterday in church, when Denny was talking about Sarah and Abraham and how God sent them messages, I was really jealous of the “Bible” people that got clear commands and messages from God. I thought, “how easy it would be to do what you’re supposed to do and be fine with it when it’s coming directly from God! I mean how easy could life get, right?”
I’m not jealous anymore.”
And then I attached the following picture:
I say this because for once I can see how people would doubt God’s plans and question why he wanted them to do something. Because that was what I was doing ever since I saw that second line pop up (which was rather quickly I might add).
We had always thought we had wanted 4 kids. But dealing with three, and the fact that Ryan is getting easier and easier every day, has made us question our original thoughts. We had discussed it off and on, realizing that we didn’t want too much time to pass if we were in fact going to have another one. We both thought that in the future, the picture would not be complete with just three, but I hate being pregnant (which is a known fact), and it’s really hard to have babies around when you have a bunch of older kids that need your attention, or need a diaper change, or need to eat. We did both agree too that we liked the 3 year gap between Josh and Ryan better than the 2 year gap between Kylie and Josh – we were able to enjoy Ryan so much more! So we both agreed that we would come back to the discussions after my sister’s wedding in August, because of course, there’s no way I could be pregnant during that…I already had my bridesmaid dress up in the closet, and there was a bachelorette party to go too…
Apparently God had other, bigger, better plans. I’m good about planning, and therefore, if I didn’t want a baby, I was doing what I should be doing to prevent one. But nothing is going to prevent God from doing what he wants. Therefore, this baby will be the constant lesson to ALL of our children that no birth control is 100%foolproof!
Thankfully, when I told John he was super excited, which helped me a little bit. Even though I feel sick, there are lots of times that I let myself forget about this whole thing. I don’t want to sound like I’m not happy, because babies do make me happy (especially when they’re mine), but they also make me tired; very tired. And right now I have three babies at home that are exhausting me – through no fault of their own…they’re just being normal kids!
I got to see the baby wiggling around and its little heart beating like crazy last week…that made it a little more real for me. But I’m not going to lie…when I was taking care of the kids by myself at John’s brother’s wedding this past weekend, I all but had a major meltdown because I can’t figure out how I’m going to have the patience and energy to take care of 4 kids. But then on the way home John again told me he thought I was a fabulous mother, and reminded me that we are a team, and that neither of us could do this on our own…we have to rely on each other. I definitely felt a lot better…
So now the countdown to January 18, 2011 begins (30 weeks to be exact). And while I doubt my abilities, I must keep remembering that God will take care of me and help me, and if I give all of my worries over to Him, I will be OK.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Busy Shower and Birthday Weekend...
Last weekend was one of the busiest weekends I’ve had in a long time! I had my sister’s bridal shower and then the kids’ birthday party the next day…
Friday night we all went to the grocery store to pick up everything I needed to cook the food for my sister’s bridal shower. My sister came in from Michigan and we stayed up late cooking everything for the shower. I finally got to bed around 1:30 Saturday morning.
Saturday I woke up early and started getting everything ready to go to the shower. My dad took Kylie to gymnastics and my sister and I packed the car up. Then we headed to get some balloons, pick Kylie up, and head over to the shower location. We spent the next two hours finishing the food prep and decorating the place. The shower was a Luau theme, so we had lots of bright colors and beachy items. We also had a Tupperware consultant and an At Home America consultant there for people to buy gifts from. These ladies did all of the games and prizes, so Suzie and I got to really enjoy the shower and visit with people. We had about 16 people there which turned out to be the perfect number!
Kylie and Aunt Suzie:
After everyone left we cleaned up and finally left around 5:30. We got home and put everything away just in time to get ready to go to dinner with my sister’s fiancé’s family. We loaded up the kids and headed downtown. Dinner was really nice and I got to talk to Big Josh’s parents and they were really nice. Even though we were beyond exhausted, it was a really nice dinner.
Sunday we got up and went to church and then stopped and got some balloons for the kids’ party. When we got home we fed the kids lunch and then put them down for naps. John and I then went out and cleaned out the garage and set everything up for the party. There was a chance of rain, so we wanted to make sure we had a place for the kids to go if it started raining on us!
We had Chulo the clown come for the party, who happens to be our children’s pastor at church. He put on a great show and the kids (and adults) seemed to enjoy him. After that we had cake and ice cream and the kids opened presents. I felt bad because Kylie had invited so many kids from her class and had a lot more presents than Josh. But Josh was such a great sport about it!
Kylie really impressed me at this party – she greeted every guest as they arrived, and when she opened her presents she oohhed and aahhed over everything and thanked each person for their gift. She was so mature the whole time!
After all the kids left we ordered some pizza for the family and our neighbors and the kids got out Josh’s new slip ‘n slide and they all had so much fun! Finally around 8:00 John and I dragged ourselves out of our chairs to clean up. It wasn’t too bad and we were able to get it all cleaned up before we went to bed that night.
But Monday was a hard day to get through… :)
Friday night we all went to the grocery store to pick up everything I needed to cook the food for my sister’s bridal shower. My sister came in from Michigan and we stayed up late cooking everything for the shower. I finally got to bed around 1:30 Saturday morning.
Saturday I woke up early and started getting everything ready to go to the shower. My dad took Kylie to gymnastics and my sister and I packed the car up. Then we headed to get some balloons, pick Kylie up, and head over to the shower location. We spent the next two hours finishing the food prep and decorating the place. The shower was a Luau theme, so we had lots of bright colors and beachy items. We also had a Tupperware consultant and an At Home America consultant there for people to buy gifts from. These ladies did all of the games and prizes, so Suzie and I got to really enjoy the shower and visit with people. We had about 16 people there which turned out to be the perfect number!
Kylie and Aunt Suzie:
After everyone left we cleaned up and finally left around 5:30. We got home and put everything away just in time to get ready to go to dinner with my sister’s fiancé’s family. We loaded up the kids and headed downtown. Dinner was really nice and I got to talk to Big Josh’s parents and they were really nice. Even though we were beyond exhausted, it was a really nice dinner.
Sunday we got up and went to church and then stopped and got some balloons for the kids’ party. When we got home we fed the kids lunch and then put them down for naps. John and I then went out and cleaned out the garage and set everything up for the party. There was a chance of rain, so we wanted to make sure we had a place for the kids to go if it started raining on us!
We had Chulo the clown come for the party, who happens to be our children’s pastor at church. He put on a great show and the kids (and adults) seemed to enjoy him. After that we had cake and ice cream and the kids opened presents. I felt bad because Kylie had invited so many kids from her class and had a lot more presents than Josh. But Josh was such a great sport about it!
Kylie really impressed me at this party – she greeted every guest as they arrived, and when she opened her presents she oohhed and aahhed over everything and thanked each person for their gift. She was so mature the whole time!
After all the kids left we ordered some pizza for the family and our neighbors and the kids got out Josh’s new slip ‘n slide and they all had so much fun! Finally around 8:00 John and I dragged ourselves out of our chairs to clean up. It wasn’t too bad and we were able to get it all cleaned up before we went to bed that night.
But Monday was a hard day to get through… :)
Thursday, June 10, 2010
A Great Weeknight...
Last night was such a fun night!
John had a church leadership team meeting, so the pastor’s wife suggested that the wives and kids go to Chick-fil-a to eat dinner and play, and then everyone meet back at the pastor’s house for a fire and s’mores.
I have to admit that it can be exhausting for me to take all three kids out by myself. Ryan still needs carried most of the time and trying to order food, get it back to the table, get everyone fed, and then eat myself can be difficult and tiring. But luckily some people stayed back at the table with the kids while I got the food, so that part was easy :) I still didn’t get to eat until later by the time I got everyone else’s food out and cut up and I had to keep giving Ryan drinks of “chocamilk” because it wasn’t in a sippy cup.
After we ate the kids went in the play area and had a blast! Even Ryan was able to play by himself in the little kids area, so I was able to sit with a friend and talk while we watched all the kids. Our kids have all known each other their whole lives and really enjoy playing together!
After about 2 ½ hours there, we headed over to the pastor’s house and sat by the fire. The guys joined us right after we got there and the kids continued playing together in the yard. We didn’t end up leaving until 10:00 and Ryan had already fallen asleep on John’s shoulder. Joshie told some of the ladies "this is the best night ever!"
It was so nice to hang out with friends and just sit and relax. It’s hard to do that at home because when you’re home, you always feel like there’s something to do, so relaxing rarely gets done.
John had a church leadership team meeting, so the pastor’s wife suggested that the wives and kids go to Chick-fil-a to eat dinner and play, and then everyone meet back at the pastor’s house for a fire and s’mores.
I have to admit that it can be exhausting for me to take all three kids out by myself. Ryan still needs carried most of the time and trying to order food, get it back to the table, get everyone fed, and then eat myself can be difficult and tiring. But luckily some people stayed back at the table with the kids while I got the food, so that part was easy :) I still didn’t get to eat until later by the time I got everyone else’s food out and cut up and I had to keep giving Ryan drinks of “chocamilk” because it wasn’t in a sippy cup.
After we ate the kids went in the play area and had a blast! Even Ryan was able to play by himself in the little kids area, so I was able to sit with a friend and talk while we watched all the kids. Our kids have all known each other their whole lives and really enjoy playing together!
After about 2 ½ hours there, we headed over to the pastor’s house and sat by the fire. The guys joined us right after we got there and the kids continued playing together in the yard. We didn’t end up leaving until 10:00 and Ryan had already fallen asleep on John’s shoulder. Joshie told some of the ladies "this is the best night ever!"
It was so nice to hang out with friends and just sit and relax. It’s hard to do that at home because when you’re home, you always feel like there’s something to do, so relaxing rarely gets done.
Wednesday, June 09, 2010
Last Day of School...
Yesterday was Kylie’s last day of school…she is now a second grader!!! (and Josh is a Kindergartner!!).
I was supposed to take ½ day of PTO so that I could go to her party, but when I called my temporary nanny (because our normal nanny is on maternity leave), she was still asleep because she thought I was taking the whole day off, I decided to take the whole day off.
So I got to feed the kids breakfast, make Kylie a lunch for the last time for a couple of months, and then take Kylie to school. The weather was gorgeous, so that just made it even better!
After we took Kylie to school we took Josh over to urgent care because the night before he had stoved his finger playing football and woke up to it bruised and swollen. Since I was already off work and I wanted to be sure he was OK, we had some x-rays taken. Thank goodness nothing was broken and once the doctor wrapped his fingers together he was good to go!
When we got back to the house I put Ryan down for a nap and Josh and I went outside. We brought out some chips and salsa because 10:30 was too early for lunch, but we were hungry! Josh played with the little boy that lives behind us and I read a magazine for a little bit. I went in and made us some sandwiches and then went in and woke Ryan up so that we could go to Kylie’s party. They were getting out 2 hours early, so her party started at 12:00.
All of the classes were outside and we quickly found Kylie’s and watched as she played games. Most of the games involved water balloons, and unfortunately, our creepy neighbor, who was also in charge of the party, was trying so hard to get the teacher all wet with the balloons and tubs of water, was going after her and as she was trying to get away from him she tripped over Josh. He started crying and we were consoling him when I heard Ryan start crying and when I looked at him he was soaked! So I took his shirt off (luckily we had towels so we were semi-prepared) and got him to stop crying.
After the games we had ice cream sundaes from Culver’s which tasted so good! Then we all headed inside where their teacher gave them little gifts and everyone said their good-byes.
After the party, Kylie’s best friend came over and they played while Josh took a nap. Ryan and I played outside for a little bit and then he went up for a nap. We had dinner and then Josh had a t-ball game where he had 2 good hits with John pitching! We ended the night with three kids in one bathtub having a blast playing together. After baths Kylie and Josh actually spent a long time playing together up in Kylie’s room. They were trading Silly Bandz and counting their money together.
It was a really good day!
Kylie and her teacher:
I was supposed to take ½ day of PTO so that I could go to her party, but when I called my temporary nanny (because our normal nanny is on maternity leave), she was still asleep because she thought I was taking the whole day off, I decided to take the whole day off.
So I got to feed the kids breakfast, make Kylie a lunch for the last time for a couple of months, and then take Kylie to school. The weather was gorgeous, so that just made it even better!
After we took Kylie to school we took Josh over to urgent care because the night before he had stoved his finger playing football and woke up to it bruised and swollen. Since I was already off work and I wanted to be sure he was OK, we had some x-rays taken. Thank goodness nothing was broken and once the doctor wrapped his fingers together he was good to go!
When we got back to the house I put Ryan down for a nap and Josh and I went outside. We brought out some chips and salsa because 10:30 was too early for lunch, but we were hungry! Josh played with the little boy that lives behind us and I read a magazine for a little bit. I went in and made us some sandwiches and then went in and woke Ryan up so that we could go to Kylie’s party. They were getting out 2 hours early, so her party started at 12:00.
All of the classes were outside and we quickly found Kylie’s and watched as she played games. Most of the games involved water balloons, and unfortunately, our creepy neighbor, who was also in charge of the party, was trying so hard to get the teacher all wet with the balloons and tubs of water, was going after her and as she was trying to get away from him she tripped over Josh. He started crying and we were consoling him when I heard Ryan start crying and when I looked at him he was soaked! So I took his shirt off (luckily we had towels so we were semi-prepared) and got him to stop crying.
After the games we had ice cream sundaes from Culver’s which tasted so good! Then we all headed inside where their teacher gave them little gifts and everyone said their good-byes.
After the party, Kylie’s best friend came over and they played while Josh took a nap. Ryan and I played outside for a little bit and then he went up for a nap. We had dinner and then Josh had a t-ball game where he had 2 good hits with John pitching! We ended the night with three kids in one bathtub having a blast playing together. After baths Kylie and Josh actually spent a long time playing together up in Kylie’s room. They were trading Silly Bandz and counting their money together.
It was a really good day!
Kylie and her teacher:
The teacher had the kids line up against the wall so that she could throw water balloons at them! (She threw them at the wall above their heads):
Kylie and her "twin" Jordyn:
Kylie was not happy about the bubblegum bubble-blowing game:
She did end up smiling during the game:
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